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-   -   Polyamorous But Currently Happily Monogamous (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=68261)

bagofhearts 01-01-2014 04:02 AM

Polyamorous But Currently Happily Monogamous
 
I just wanted to share my experience here in case anyone else encounters this. I always think it's helpful to see that others have the same experience as you to help you feel "okay" and not alone.

I have been polyamorous before I knew there was a name for it or that anyone else was "this way", but I have fallen in love with someone and am currently happily monogamous. I have no interest in anyone else nor do I feel the need to have any sort of relationship with anyone outside of my boyfriend.

In the interest of full disclosure I must reveal that, as a couple, we are interested in "swinging" and we are casually persuing this activity, although not with much focus or any sort of urgency. I theorize that the knowledge of this future possibility may be satisfying some sort of polyamorous need on my part.

I do think that romantic or sexual persuasion is a fluid thing and can change throughout one's life and am aware that my current satisfaction with monogamy may be temporary, but thought it was worthwhile to put it out there and get feedback and possibly be a mirror for anyone else who has or will experience this.

PolyinPractice 01-01-2014 06:45 AM

There are lots of poly people who simply want the freedom to love those who come in their life, but don't necessarily seek it out... those who crave variety. .. and some in between. Don't feel alone :) And you. .. or your partner might find someone in the future. You never know ;)

LoveBunny 01-04-2014 02:41 PM

I've only been dating outside my marriage for a year, but immediately upon opening my marriage, I somehow managed to date three attractive people in rapid/overlapping succession. I think I got cocky, and figured I'd always have plenty of suitors to choose from. Now, as the last of those relationships has fizzled, stuck in the fuckbuddy zone, I'm finding myself in a dry spell for the last few months with no new prospects on my radar. I sometimes feel frustrated, like I went through all this inner growth, blew open my marriage, endless reading and long talks with hubby, etc., for nothing if I'm just going to lapse back into married monogamy. So thanks for this post, I keep trying to remind myself that being open to the experience and open to having other relationships in my life is enough, and I never again find anyone else I'm compatible with, it's ok.

nycindie 01-04-2014 04:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LoveBunny (Post 256591)
. . . I'm finding myself in a dry spell for the last few months with no new prospects on my radar. I sometimes feel frustrated, like I went through all this inner growth, blew open my marriage, endless reading and long talks with hubby, etc., for nothing if I'm just going to lapse back into married monogamy.

Oh, honey, some people take years to find the right partners! A few months is nothing.

bicoastal 01-24-2014 12:11 AM

well put
 
Fluid.

That's how I think about sexuality in all aspects. So much else of what is going on with us in that moment of our life influences our needs, desires, sexuality, compatibility, desire for connectedness or not. I think when we try to adhere to a label, we bring unnecessary frustrations upon ourselves.


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