Polyamory.com Forum

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-   -   Hello from Hawaii (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=68166)

medicrene 12-24-2013 02:35 AM

Hello from Hawaii
Hello all.

I’m new to the forum and exploring the site while looking to make new online friends. I’m 48 and I live in Hawaii. I’m divorced and I am not actually involved with anyone at the moment.

While married, my wife and I went to a few sex clubs, but we did not swing. We enjoyed the atmosphere and having sex around others. She occasionally played with other women, and I thought that was hot, but she insisted that I only play with her. I accepted that.

But we are divorced now, and not due to that lifestyle, but do to another lifestyle choice. I am a cruiser. I live aboard a yacht and, when I get the time, I sail long distances. I just recently sailed from California to Hawaii. I love the ocean. I enjoy the challenges that are provided by blue water sailing that include navigational and meteorological challenges and simply being able to work with someone at sea for long periods of time. When she met me, she thought my lifestyle was romantic, it is, but once we started cruising and she learned that it also required work, she moved off the boat and returned to her old lifestyle. I have heard the “lifestyle” can be rough on some relationships, but I tell you the cruising lifestyle is much rougher.

These days, my lifestyle remains a difficult one to accept. I work rotational shifts where I spend a month overseas and then return home, but the pay is phenomenal and I am saving money. During some of my time off, I volunteer with medical projects in disasters or refugee camps. As such, it has been a long time since I have actually been involved with anyone. However, this next relationship is going to be on my terms and not be on the terms dictated by society norms.

I have wanted a poly relationship for years, but have not known where to look to meet such people. I guess I will meet some here and learn more about the culture. As a long distance cruiser with a large yacht, a two person team is a difficult team for blue water passages. Sleep deprivation can be a killer at sea. For my yacht, I really need three people. Now that it is ready for a circumnavigation, I am even more interested in finding people who live outside of the normal society, live by their own rules and share an interest in adventure.

I hope to learn from you all about how these relationships work, how to maintain a healthy relationship in this environment and how to meet people with similar notions. I look forward to meeting each of you online.

Captain Rene

kdt26417 12-26-2013 08:50 PM

Greetings Captain Rene,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

Wow, that's a pretty cool lifestyle you've got going there. So you're indeed planning on circling the whole globe sometime? What an awesome adventure that would be. I'm sure you'll meet many good people on this site; you may even want to have a look at our Dating & Friendships subforum. Other possibilities include googling "polyamory" with the State, country, and/or nearest major city you're hailing from. Often you will find local poly groups that way and can make new friends in person.

In the meantime, you'll want to learn as much as you can about polyamory. Have a look at our various threads and boards and see if you have any questions. Book and Website Recommendations may be of particular interest, and a few good poly-related books I've read are:
  • "Opening Up," by Tristan Taormino.
  • "The Ethical Slut," by Dossie Easton and Catherine Liszt.
  • "Sex at Dawn," by Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jethá.
  • "Polyamory: the new love without limits," by Deborah Anapol.
People often find Franklin Veaux's poly pages to be useful as well.

Hope you'll enjoy your time on our site, and I check the intro board pretty often so whenever you need a "guaranteed response" to some thought, question, or concern, post it on this thread and I'll indeed tend to it.

Glad to have you with us.
Kevin T., "official greeter" :)


There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!

Please read through the guidelines if you haven't already.

Note: You needn't read every reply to your posts, especially if someone posts in a disagreeable way. Given the size and scope of the site it's hard not to run into the occasional disagreeable person. Please contact the mods if you do (or if you see any spam), and you can block the person if you want.

If you have any questions about the board itself, please private-message a mod and they'll do their best to help.

Welcome aboard!

medicrene 12-27-2013 12:33 AM

Exploring the site
Thanks for the warm welcome, Kevin.

I will continue to explore the site and learn what I can. I will download the books you recommend and read them while I am overseas (which is right now).

Am I really going to circumnavigate? You bet. This boat was designed for that purpose and I spent three years of nearly full time work retrofitting the boat to be able to continue long distance sailing. However, unlike must other boats, mine is not meant for fast sailing, but for sailing in comfort. I enjoy taking my time and living in a bit of luxury while at sea.

Thanks again, Kevin.

The Captain

kdt26417 12-27-2013 01:38 AM

Sounds awesome. Look forward to hearing more of your adventures, etc.

Kevin T.

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