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-   -   first "real" date (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=66222)

hersweetleaf 12-04-2013 07:25 PM

first "real" date
 
we made plans to take our friend (we say friend because theres been no definition placed yet)

but I thought what better of a place to go when your in a new polyship, than Moroccan food. sitting together in close proximity, in the dark, on glorified beds, while you eat with your hands, and watch belly dancers work their magic. sounds like the perfect evening to me. Saturday cannot get here soon enough!

now, what do I wear!?

EpsilonLyr 12-05-2013 11:37 AM

Sounds lovely. We have a place called Marrakesh that's about identical to what you're describing and we love it. Very intimate indeed... hope you have a great time!

Natja 12-05-2013 12:24 PM

Do you think it wise to go out all three? If you want to really foster a workable relationship than the best thing to do would be to start building a relationship with her as individuals because I can assure you one thing, this 'we'+ her stuff won't go anywhere.

hersweetleaf 12-05-2013 04:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by EpsilonLyr (Post 252172)
Sounds lovely. We have a place called Marrakesh that's about identical to what you're describing and we love it. Very intimate indeed... hope you have a great time!

it is Marrakesh! there was a groupon, so I had to get it! lol.

weve been before and have had a great time and the food is awesome. belly dancers at 10! wooo

hersweetleaf 12-05-2013 05:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Natja (Post 252198)
Do you think it wise to go out all three? If you want to really foster a workable relationship than the best thing to do would be to start building a relationship with her as individuals because I can assure you one thing, this 'we'+ her stuff won't go anywhere.

as of right now, we are only on a friend basis. we tend to move slow I guess. but we are not trying to rush into anything. for now it will be like this, and when it is clear that there is a relationship happening, then the one on one will happen more. I hope. =)

pulliman 12-05-2013 06:50 PM

I'm agreeing on the we+, as a beginner, compared to the individual.

Here's an example out of my life. When AM and I started falling in love, I was really open with WI about it. We didn't go anywhere, because WI wasn't comfortable with it and we were slowly negotiating my poly life. I spent a ton of time traveling in the summer, just as AM and WI started getting to know each other better. They unexpectedly fell for each other and built their thing independently. When I got back, AM and I built our thing, as well. Now, we happen to have a grand old time when it's all three of us, together, too.

Independence can be difficult, at times, but done right, it's one of the most amazing feelings in the world. Compersion comes built in for all three of us - as long as each individual relationship is doing well, we're happy to see the other two together. NOT being happy with the other two together is a sign we use to measure if something is going wrong, an obvious and immediate check-in moment.

EpsilonLyr 12-07-2013 07:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hersweetleaf (Post 252246)
it is Marrakesh! there was a groupon, so I had to get it! lol.

weve been before and have had a great time and the food is awesome. belly dancers at 10! wooo


WOW what a small world. That's so funny cuz I looked at your location, saw "Seattle" and thought... naah it's gotta be somewhere else. And yes to belly dancers. Way to pick the perfect location for some intimacy in an already sensual environment. All the eating with your fingers, leaning in close... I know you will have a great time tonight.

hersweetleaf 12-07-2013 11:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by EpsilonLyr (Post 252742)
WOW what a small world. That's so funny cuz I looked at your location, saw "Seattle" and thought... naah it's gotta be somewhere else. And yes to belly dancers. Way to pick the perfect location for some intimacy in an already sensual environment. All the eating with your fingers, leaning in close... I know you will have a great time tonight.

oh wow, that's awesome. I now just noticed the PNW on your profile.

it seems like a perfect place, but we will see. tends to be busy during the week. I haven't eaten all day so I can truly enjoy the food, dancers and the intimacy that I hope happens.

thanks, epsilonlyr. =)

hersweetleaf 12-08-2013 09:24 PM

review of first poly date
 
ok, I thought I would review our date last night.

she came over around 7, we talked and left to go to the restaurant. all was good, good convo in the car, everything was comfortable, and not awkward. until later...

we started our meal, and shes actually the one who brought up the situation we currently found ourselves in. she made it quite obvious that shes more comfortable with being with me, and not my husband. mostly for the fact that shes STILL with the "boyfriend" and shes not sure how she feels morally. but she could get there eventually...

the rest of the night was good, we stopped at a local dive bar to play some erotic photo hunt, and then headed back to our place to watch walking dead.

however, we never made it to the tv. (starting to sound good huh?) we get some drinks and head up to the bedroom. (getting soo juicy!) and we proceed to spend almost 4 hours in our bedroom...(and.!?!??)...talking. we all talked. it was a talk fest. just random shit. she left at almost 2am.

so at the end of the night, youd think I would have sat there and been like "that was a great date" but instead, I thought, I don't think its going to work out.

for lack of writing a novel and boring you all with annoying stuff (unless you want me to!), I will spare the events, and actions that made us think we should seek other options, and not to put all our eggs in this one basket(case).

scarletzinnia 12-09-2013 01:04 AM

Just wondering, why do you and yout husband both have to be sexually involved with the same woman? Did you know that you can have a girlfriend and he can also, two different people?


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