The End Of An Era :-(
So it is at last over. Sith and I have decided to end our relationship. It hurts so much and yet there is also a very large sense of relief. I have done all I can and can do no more. I am at peace. It is a strange place to be.
I almost don't know how to feel. I am sad and hurt. I am relieved and optimistic about our future as parents together. I am not angry which in itself feels strange. Mostly I just feel hopeful for the first time in a long time that we will be okay even if not in the way we thought. I love him just as much today as I always have. I see now that love by itself can never be enough. It takes so much work to make a relationship work. We both failed in that job. Now we reap the benefits of too many moments squandered and too many misunderstandings.
I move into a new decade of my life. I am 32 and full of life and love yet. I believe now that I am poly wired and intend to move forward in that direction when the time deels right. For now I wish to heal and just take part in life again. Take care of children and learn to be friends with my once lover and husband. And take part in the poly community here. I want to learn and grow.
I am a strong woman and a great mother. I will remind myself these things when I am blue abd lonely. And just maybe things will be a little better now. I am as ever only me.
I am sorry.
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