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-   -   Holidays (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=63168)

Revkah 11-10-2013 04:37 AM

How do you guys split or combine holidays? My bf asked me today about Thanksgiving and I wasn't even sure how to go about it. I would of course love to spend time with him during the holidays. Any advice would be great.

LovingRadiance 11-10-2013 04:41 AM

There's some threads on here regarding that.

We spend holidays together. Anyone who wants to join is welcome.

JaneQSmythe 11-10-2013 05:17 AM

Dude doesn't have contact with his family so holidays are spent with mine or MrS's. Usually we three will get together with one family on the holiday itself and the other on the holiday weekend.

london 11-10-2013 07:00 AM

Easy for me, I have a kid. I'll spend a day or two with partners over the Xmas period but the main days are spent with my family. I don't integrate people into my family life easily, at all.

SchrodingersCat 11-10-2013 09:18 AM

Gralson is a slave to his job, works out of town all but 4 days every 2 weeks. So I'm lucky to see him for Thanksgiving at all. Auto usually does things with either her or her husband's parents.

Christmas we do differently each year. Auto always hosts a Solstice celebration for everyone in the extended family. Last year, we made a relationship train of 6 people: Gralson, me, Auto, her husband, his boyfriend, and his wife. My mom was even there, all the way from 1200 km away. This year, Gralson and I are planning to travel to my home town for xmas.

But I like to poach the phrase "first world problems" to describe the issue of "I have too much love in my life, how do I decide who to share it with during holidays?" A popular recommendation for that problem is to volunteer at a homeless shelter / soup kitchen for the holidays, and invite your partners to join you. Hard for anyone to criticize you for choosing the wrong person that way, plus the obvious benefit of helping those less fortunate than yourselves.

Dagferi 11-10-2013 11:25 AM

We do something with Butch. His closest family is 15 hours away in Chicago.

The either the kids and I our just me go with Murf to family events.

Inyourendo 11-10-2013 09:44 PM

J spent Halloween with us. N and I travel out of state for thanksgiving, N and I don't celebrate Xmas. J goes out of town to her parents house for holidays. As far as I'm aware, J's family is Pretty in the dark about her life, shes a fairly secretive person.

Inyourendo 11-10-2013 09:47 PM


Originally Posted by Dagferi (Post 246045)
We do something with Butch. His closest family is 15 hours away in Chicago.

The either the kids and I our just me go with Murf to family events.

That's where N's family is, I love vacationing there

LovingRadiance 11-10-2013 11:47 PM

This wasn't a poly thing-but when we had a "his, mine and ours" kid situation, we commonly rescheduled holidays or duplicated them.

We did Christmas on New Years for YEARS. (great for getting after Christmas specials.

This year we're doing Thanksgiving a week early.

As a child-my parents both worked in the medical fields-so we did holidays on alternate days as well.

RainyGrlJenny 11-13-2013 08:09 PM

Even when Fly and I were each other's only real partners, we still celebrated holidays separately. It's the same with Moonlight. We all have our own families, and Fly and I are further complicated by Kiddo's schedule with Fly's baby-mama. As well, Fly works for an artisan bakery, so the days preceding holidays are huge production and delivery days for him, so he's often exhausted by the time the actual holiday rolls around.

Thanksgiving, I go to my family, Moonlight does something with her family, Fly either comes with me or goes to his parents' or one of his sisters' houses, depending on what's going on. Then, Moonlight and I go to her friends' big thanksgiving dinner on Friday for our holiday time together.

My family celebrates on christmas eve, which also happens to be Fly's mom's birthday. So, he goes to his family, I go to mine. If it's our year to have Kiddo, we do Christmas morning just the three of us. If he's at his mom's, christmas day is pretty quiet. Moonlight does christmas morning with her daughter and granddaughter. She and I celebrate on boxing day. Fly's folks have a big party every year shortly before christmas, so I usually attend that with him.

Last New Year's Eve, Moonlight, Fly, and I all hung out together at a party. I don't know what will happen this year.

For us, spending the precise day together with partners isn't as important as just the general sharing the holiday season with them. We're also lucky that for all three of us, our families are local, so there's no worry about traveling or having to pick and choose which events to attend, etc.

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