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-   -   Hi from Eastern Washington (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=62125)

RiverDwellers 10-30-2013 05:05 AM

Hi from Eastern Washington
 
Hello all! My husband and I are curious about the Polyamory lifestyle and the difficulties as well as the benefits of this lifestyle. We are open-minded people who believe love can include just one another or several people. We are what I consider middle-aged and could never fathom being apart from each other. We have lived many places and like Washington because it seems so much more open to life's possibilities than the Midwest provided for us. I look forward to getting to know you on here.

kdt26417 10-31-2013 07:09 AM

Hello RiverDwellers,
Welcome to our forum.

Washington's a good state for poly support; I plan to move there (Seattle area) in just a month or two.

I think you might like our Life stories and blogs board, it gives a lot of perspectives on real-live people living out their day-to-day lives learning how to make poly work. Yes, even stories about when it doesn't work, because sometimes poly's not for everyone. You just have to give it a try and learn as much as you can!

Check out our various threads and boards and see what interests you. Don't be shy about posting and interacting with the other members here. You'll find that soon you have some new friends.

Great to have you aboard.
Sincerely,
Kevin T.

RiverDwellers 10-31-2013 05:48 PM

Thanks!
 
Thank you Kevin. I will read up on that. It will be nice to meet like-minded people.

alibabe_muse 11-02-2013 03:07 AM

Hello from North Idaho
 
Hello RiverDwellers!

Welcome and the forum has been great for me in learning all the various aspects of polyamory. I have discovered locally it is a small community in this part of Idaho, very close to a part of Eastern WA, and there a many of us around and about. There is the NW Inland Polyamory Group on Meetup. I have not been able to attend since I joined and hopefully I will get to soon.

If you ever want to chat, let me know.;)

RiverDwellers 11-02-2013 06:59 PM

Thanks Ali! I would like to chat sometime with you and pick your brain. My husband and I have talked about what we would like in a partner. We are open to a lot of things, but first and foremost, we understand that our love, our partnership comes first. This is what makes us happy. But we do talk about adding a third to our group that not only would add a new sexual element to our life, but someone we enjoy as a person as well. Someone we could hang out with, go camping, that sort of thing. So my husband suggested I learn more about this lifestyle (which of course, was a excellent suggestion) and so I am here. So many questions. I've been reading through some of the lifestyle section and find it interesting the dynamics of these arrangements.

alibabe_muse 11-02-2013 11:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RiverDwellers (Post 244502)
Thanks Ali! I would like to chat sometime with you and pick your brain. My husband and I have talked about what we would like in a partner. We are open to a lot of things, but first and foremost, we understand that our love, our partnership comes first. This is what makes us happy. But we do talk about adding a third to our group that not only would add a new sexual element to our life, but someone we enjoy as a person as well. Someone we could hang out with, go camping, that sort of thing. So my husband suggested I learn more about this lifestyle (which of course, was a excellent suggestion) and so I am here. So many questions. I've been reading through some of the lifestyle section and find it interesting the dynamics of these arrangements.

First off I will warn you will most likely get "flak" (as another stated just recently to another couple who is looking for a third) on seeking what is termed a "unicorn". Do some searches here on that. Also there is a great article on that but I can't find it and didn't save it.

This website I do enjoy http://www.morethantwo.com/.

When I first came onto this site, hub and I wanted a third. Within a few hours of reading I changed my mind and felt that individually we should look for another rather than as a couple. I mean in the ideal world, yeah that would be awesome, but I tend to like men more than women and he, women more than men. Now he has his hands full and I, well I still have not made that connection. I figure when the right person is available for me, it'll happen when it happens. No point in rushing and getting disappointed.

I don't always have my yahoo on but you can pm me here to chat.;)

Natja 11-02-2013 11:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by alibabe_muse (Post 244552)
First off I will warn you will most likely get "flak" (as another stated just recently to another couple who is looking for a third) on seeking what is termed a "unicorn". Do some searches here on that. Also there is a great article on that but I can't find it and didn't save it.

This one? http://davidlnoble.com/so-somebody-c...nicorn-hunter/

kdt26417 11-02-2013 11:53 PM

Yup Natja, I believe that's the one.

It sounds great to stay loyal to each other as "the original couple" (perhaps thus not departing too far from monogamous ideals), but if you get the opportunity to bring a "third" (i.e. an additional woman) into your lives and/or home, be conscientious of her wants/needs/situation as an individual too. That's all. She's only a "unicorn" if you ask of her more than she can really give.

No flak intended, just passing on some of the info I have and agreeing with Ali that there is a certain stigma attached to a certain stereotype, yes, even though we're all polyamorous and one would think surely all on the same team. A lot of this caution is due to lessons others have learned in the "school of hard knocks." They don't want others to have to learn the same things the hard way.

Regards,
Kevin T.

alibabe_muse 11-03-2013 03:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Natja (Post 244555)

Yes Natja that's the one.

RiverDwellers 11-03-2013 03:56 AM

:) Had to look up the definition to "unicorn". We are actually interested more in the right person than the gender, if that makes sense. We can see the value in either a male or female. We've done the swinging thing a few times, but really are more interested in a "relationship" at this point. Not to say that a one night stand isn't fun, but at this point in life, we are more interested in someone who we can have fun with as well a more intimate relationship. We think, male or female, it will click for us when it does and are not in any hurry.

As for thinking of the third party, we actually have discussed that in great detail and realize that we would need to be considerate of their feelings as well. To me, it would be a relationship and I hate hurting anyone, so I would want to have someone who understands the dynamics, wants to talk it through. I am an over-thinker and like to analyze things with my husband. We have a great relationship, I believe, because we are talkers about everything and think about all the possibilities.


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