My blog,...Our (not-so) boring daily life...
My introduction post to the forum is long, and describes how I ended up here. Its too long to repeat, so I will post a link to it instead.
For the purpose of this blog,...I will, from now on refer to my wife as 'BB', and her daughter as 'ZF'. This is, I think most appropriate...
BB and I are on the road full time as professional drivers, or otherwise knows as 'Truckers', as a team. We own our truck outright, and enjoy being together every day, but she and I miss being at home.
Well, It has been a few days since ZF tried her hand at going out with someone besides me, and she now realizes that it just does not feel right to her. Despite her getting lonely at home by herself here lately, she feels that we are just too perfect a match, and too happy for her to consider anything else. My wife, BB, since I posted here, has been feeling very good about all of us, and for herself. She finally has come to terms with it all full circle, since it has been put out for all the world to see. She said to me today that no other guy could stand up to what I am for ZF, and for ZF, no one could ever make her as happy long term. BB felt tho, that she was a bit 'left out', on this new decision for us to get off the road by the end of 2014, as she was not involved in this discussion until after it was settled. We talked about it amongst ourselves, BB and I, and she is exited to see an end to the endless travelling as well. BB and I have been sneaking into the back (sleeper area) of the truck, making love like mad these last few days, and it is nice to know that after 7+ years of being together, we still turn each other on like the day we first met. Yesterday morning, while our trailer was getting loaded, we made love the whole time, trying not to rock the truck too much, but I think they noticed anyway, because the guy came out with our paperwork with a big smile on his face (oops) lol. In the afternoon, we all hung out on our private voice-chat server together, Me on the wireless headset while driving. We talked about getting off the road, and just hung out for several hours cutting up, giggling, and having a good time, the three of us together, almost as if were were home. BB's son chimed in for about an hour toward the end and we spent some time with him as well. I continued to drive the rest of the day, and BB and ZF spent the rest of the afternoon playing online games together. Its so nice to see our family get along so well, so stress free, and so loving. I cannot believe myself sometimes, that my life has been so incredibly blessed, to have such a loving, playful, best friend of a wife with an incredible bond, and to have as well, that super special relationship with ZF, that I, at first swore against. ZF and I are indeed a very special couple on our own, in our own way, and it is incredible in itself. She likes the fact I am so caring, loving, and tender with her, meeting all her needs when I am home. Since BB and I are together everyday, when we do come home, I will usually take ZF out partying, just her and I, and out to dinner, perhaps a hotel too, getting her out of the house, where we will go wildly crazy on each other one on one, where it then always softens itself into very sweet, tender, intimate, love making, while starring deeply into each other's eyes, bonding as one. We are truly in love with one another, deeply and hopelessly. It settles out after a couple days, where then, the three of us will spend our time together as a group cuddling, loving, and playing together. Although they both enjoy teasing me together, love making happens separately, and at different times. BB and ZF see each others needs and will nudge me gently toward the one who need the most attention on any given night when we are all home. I let them decide what bed I sleep in, and quite often, half way through the night, or in early morning, I will switch, because I miss the other. BB has started teaching ZF how to knit and sew, and all the cool things women like to do together, and I think its incredibly nice to see them get along so well. BB told me as well today, while I was writing this (she was reading it), that I was possibly, perhaps the only guy in my situation that fully respects our tangled relationship without taking advantage of it. I don't know about that, but I do know that I would, and will, do anything for them to ensure they are secure and safe in their lives with me. Any-ways, enough rambling for today, I will chime back in here when there is something interesting to report. hopefully I am not too boring for everyone,...Dstone
Stuck in denver...
Well, we delivered our freight in denver 2:00am on Saturday, and we are still sitting here waiting to get dispatched by our freight contractor. Many trucks here, looks to be a dead zone this time of year for getting goods moved out of this area. BB and I have been cuddling up a lot, watching movies, and enjoying each others company heavily, making love a few times each day. We have also spent lots of time with ZF on voice chat, letting her know we miss her deeply,..Especially me. I long to be with her so badly I can't stand it here lately. I long to have her head on my chest, her listening to my heartbeat while I hold her tightly, her hair tickling my face. I hold BB the same way, and it comforts me, but one does not replace the other, nor do I ever pretend it to. There is that missing part of me, as they each hold a special place in my heart, almost as if there were two of me inside myself, one happy and blessed to be with the love of my live, BB, and the other sad and longing to be home,...to be with the love of my life, ZF. It makes for a roller-coaster of emotions from within me that is indescribable, but not uncontrolled. It makes me appreciate who we are, and what we have as a group. BB and ZF alike have taken to reading my blog here, and encourage me doing something creative, expressing my feelings, letting them know how I feel deep inside. I am one of those people that if it comes into my head, I will express and say it without any barriers. Sometimes it gets me in trouble, but they both love me for it. They know exactly who I am, nothing hidden. This, I think is why we get along so well. Most of our friends tell us that people are not supposed to be this happy. Still others are sceptical of how we present ourselves, thinking its pretend, and a show, that we put on for others, but it is not. It is very real. We do not tell our friends and/or co-workers about our twisted triangle of love because it is considered so taboo, even for the open minded folks. No amount of words would convince most that what we do is ok. Yes, this bothers me greatly sometimes, because it is not fair for ourselves. ZF has only one person she spends time with that she has told our full story to, and even that friend, although accepting of her, has strong beliefs against it. The one guy she tried to go out with, well,...I told him, at ZF's request, and he seemed ok with it on the surface, but I could tell it bothered him. It's funny, I asked her if she wanted him not to know, so that they could pursue their new-found relationship alone, without interference, and she told me no. She was proud of who we are, and what we have. She did not want to hide it. This made me feel incredibly proud of her, knowing she accepts our love openly around others. It speaks volumes about her stability in who she is now. God, I love her so much.
These last few times BB and I came home, I took ZF one on one, out to dinner at a local red lobster. I always sit at a bar wherever I go, and ZF and I are starting to get to know the female bartender a bit. The bartender was under the impression that ZF and I are a couple, as we do a bit of cuddling while having drinks and eating. This last time we came home, we were all out shopping, and decided to visit the place. This was the first time the three of us were there together, and the bartender welcomed ZF and I, and said to BB, she thought ZF and I were a cute couple together, and started saying how we looked good together,.....at that moment,...I turned and kissed BB deeply in front of her, then reached and kissed ZF. The look on the bartenders face was priceless. Her standing there totally speechless, I turned to her and said,...'Don't tell my wife eh?,...', confusing the poor girl even more... BB and ZF just laughed. Totally confused now, the bartender asked for our order, and told the other bartender to take especially good care of us. The bartender thought for a few moments there, that she had given away ZF and I's secret to BB unwittingly, but then realized we were a 3, and not a couple. We drank, ate, and had a merry time of it. I had to drive, so I drank soda, and we all went home and had a great evening, laughing about our experience.
Hopefully, we will get moving today, as our truck does not make money when it sits still. Its our little mini-home on wheels, as we have almost all the comforts (no room for a bathroom so that sucks), such as internet, computers, household power, microwave, fridge, a nice bed, and lots and lots of love. It is not one of those super trucks, it's an ordinary sleeper truck, but it suits us just fine. well, that's enough for today I think,...hopefully it wasn't too boring,...Dstone
Driving, driving, and more driving,...sunshine and beautiful landscapes,...then through the rain,...then hailstorms, snow and ice,...and finally through dangerous, very dangerous winds,...We arrive at our destinations, then off again, One sleeping and the other behind the wheel...Smiles and hugs and sandwiches for each other, those brief moments in time, as as we change out drivers, then moving again...
Yesterday, we had some long discussions,...more discussions about getting off the road,... and about loneliness amongst our family. My Wife BB, came up with a good idea I think. She said why wait another year,...Why continue to suffer?,...She then went on to explain that her son is by himself,...all the time now, a driver as well. Why not let her (BB), and her son drive together in our truck for a year, and I go home and spend some serious time off toward getting our house repaired from all the years of neglect from us being gone. I am the only one in our family with all the skill-set to restore our lovely home that is now in need of roofing and minor repairs, so this makes sense,...As well now, no one in our family will be by themselves any more. Its time off that can be shared one on one with ZF, so that she is not lonely, and time that her and I can spend bonding like we once were, when I was home more. Five plus years where BB and I are together almost exclusively, can now lend itself to some exclusiveness with ZF. Emotionally, it makes me happy, and sad, and feel guilty, all at the same time. I feel guilty because I have always been the primary 'Bread Winner' in my life. I have never had time to just be still, or enjoy being at home. I have never experienced that before. I am happy that I can be with ZF,...I love her so, so much,...but very, very sad that I will not be with BB everyday. GOD, I Miss Her Already!,...and she is sitting right next to me....I guess I am a hopeless romantic, my heart is aching already for her...Its like knowing she is going on a long journey, where I will not be with her. She will be coming home regularly, every 6 or 7 weeks, but it will, I am sure,...seem like an eternity for me. I see it lending itself to her and I going crazy on each other and spending lots of cuddle and romantic time together when she does come home. Wow, what a reversal of strong emotions,...Sadness and Happiness alike.
Only time and God knows what is to become of this for sure, but I think its, overall a good thing for all of us... Who knows,...Dstone
Stop and Go...
So we stopped for a night and day,...BB and I Got to spend a bit of time cuddling, ...making love 2 times within a few hours, passing out, more cuddling, then out to breakfast,...hanging out. Off again we go, from coast to coast this time,...back through the dangerous winds, but we are loaded heavy this time,...very heavy. People's online orders and little kids Christmas wishes,...floor to ceiling, nose to toe, catalog orders to the other end of the country they go. A day and night of driving, then its her turn,...down the roa,....... ,,,,,,,,,,,,......... .BAAMMM!!!!!..........., ,,,,,,,,,,,///////We screech to a halt on the side of the road,... She hit a deer head on... Poor thing, it had no chance against us. The front of our beautiful truck is now shattered, bumper twisted. I had to cut away most of the bumper just to get us movable again. The hood is now shattered and split, and cracked down the side, wire and zippies holding it together. We are slowly loosing coolant now too....Drip,.....Drip...very slowly tho,....it will get us to our delivery.
Well,...now more than ever,...we need to go home. At home, I can repair the truck and replace the hood and bumper. The damage is a lot, but not unmanageable. It will likely take a couple weeks, so perhaps an early thanksgiving is in order while we prepare our home on wheels for its next adventure with BB and her son this time. BB has already mentioned perhaps a mesquite smoked turkey, so juicy and delicious, filled with peppers and onions and pineapples too. I cannot help but think that the deer she hit, costly as it will be, gave its life so that we can spend extra time together,..poor thing.
Its been a while ...
Well, November, December, Jan, Feb, and now march, since posting here. I am home full time with ZF now and it has made her a very happy person. BB is now driving full time with her son, and she says that she really enjoys driving with him because he apparently gets less 'grumpy' than I used to. I can tell she misses me greatly though, and I miss her too. I try to spend every day online with her while she is gone, and do ok at at it, but now that I am home, we have had almost non-stop guests here. Friends and other drivers that need help with their trucks, taxes, etc... I enjoy very much helping others out whenever I can. Sometimes they give me money towards helping them repair their trucks, and that's great, but I do not require them to do so. ZF is enjoying all the attention, not just from me, but from the constant barrage of guests as well. I would have thought, that since she was alone for so long, that it would have gotten under her skin, but it has not. She seems much more at peace with herself and the world more so than ever. Myself, I miss BB -- A LOT -- and feel guilty sometimes that I am not there on the truck with her, holding and loving her like she deserves. I can tell she has had a roller-coaster sort of mixed emotion towards not being next to me every day, but she handles it well. Knowing the situation is not permanent helps a lot I think. Myself, well, I have never been 'home' on a permanent basis --EVER --, especially in the last several years (15+). It has been very good for me I think. I have been keeping busy, slowly restoring our yard and home to its former glory as well as working towards paying it off, so that BB can be home more. Her son has now earned a deep respect with me as well. There aren't very many 21-year old guys that are willing to work full time for free just to help the 'parents' pay off their house. He says he enjoys driving our family truck, and being with his mother more as well. The situation seems almost too good to be true now sometimes, so I go out of my way NOT to take advantage of it. I think its important that we do not loose focus of our goals, and that we work toward all of us being together more,...all 4 of us...Perhaps I should pursue a home-based business that we could all participate in, here in the near future.
Anyway, thatís All I have for now, hope it wasn't too boring,...Dstone
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