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-   -   Where to meet sane open-minded folks?! (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=5945)

polycouple 01-26-2011 01:23 AM

Where to meet sane open-minded folks?!
 
So, my man and I (I'll call him Jazz) have been poly our whole relationship. The experiences have been varied, sometimes fun and exciting, other times underwhelming. What has not taken form is a long term relationship with a third person. I guess you could call what we've had as flings. Our main way to meet people is the internet, and I have to say we have had very little luck with this. Most of the people we encounter seem like crazed sex addicts. I appreciate sexual tension, sensuality, and the nitty gritty of get'n down and dirty, but it totally turns me off to be introduced online to a picture of someone's penis, vagina, etc. Do social graces have to go out the door because we are non-manogomous? What ever happened to meeting someone before you bare it all? Leave something to the imagination, come on! Not to mention what a turn off it is that someone would throw themselves into bed with someone they haven't even exchanged more than a few sentences of typed lines of dialogue with.

What I am asking is how do you meet people in this lifestyle without having to drudge through the mass amounts of crazies, sex addicts, and those in need of an extreme psychological intervention, etc? Is my experience common? Is there something else we can do to improve our strategy for meeting people?

Thanks ahead for any insight!

PS I live in CT. Jazz lives in RI

NeonKaos 01-26-2011 01:30 AM

open-minded i can do.. sane? not so much.

MonoVCPHG 01-26-2011 02:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by polycouple (Post 63271)
but it totally turns me off to be introduced online to a picture of someone's penis, vagina, etc. Do social graces have to go out the door because we are non-manogomous?

I

And that is why I don't have a FetLife profile. I enjoy my friends but seriously have no interest in seeing anything but their smiling faces :D In all fairness I should expect to probably see way more than I need on something like Fetlife..it is a Kinky place.

Back to your regularly scheduled post ;)

Senga 01-26-2011 03:23 AM

Sometimes I am shy to ask people if they would be/could be interested in a couple because they have themselves listed as only looking for a whimsical unicorn creature (also known as the single female). After considering our needs we found that there are several relationship structures (single, couple, V, open, fidelity) that could "theoretically" satisfy our dreams of a poly relationship. So maybe if you find out what could feasibly work for you maybe it will open up some more ideas. Just a thought & good luck! :)

Setxfamily 01-26-2011 04:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by polycouple (Post 63271)
What I am asking is how do you meet people in this lifestyle without having to drudge through the mass amounts of crazies, sex addicts, and those in need of an extreme psychological intervention, etc? Is my experience common? Is there something else we can do to improve our strategy for meeting people?

MY Lady and I have been asking this same question for some time now. So far about the best answer we can come up with is just patience.

polycouple 01-26-2011 09:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Senga (Post 63289)
Sometimes I am shy to ask people if they would be/could be interested in a couple because they have themselves listed as only looking for a whimsical unicorn creature (also known as the single female). After considering our needs we found that there are several relationship structures (single, couple, V, open, fidelity) that could "theoretically" satisfy our dreams of a poly relationship. So maybe if you find out what could feasibly work for you maybe it will open up some more ideas. Just a thought & good luck! :)

Thanks for the input, but Jazz and I are open. We indicate that we are interested in men, women, and couples. We aren't picky, lol!

polycouple 01-26-2011 09:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Setxfamily (Post 63297)
MY Lady and I have been asking this same question for some time now. So far about the best answer we can come up with is just patience.

We've got that. It's been years since we've introduced others into our relationship!

Plus, now isn't the best time for us to find someone. We are both so busy with school and work!

Senga 01-26-2011 10:17 PM

I am a member of SDC.com (a swinger website, free trial or paid membership) but there are some polys on there as well.
I also just joined OkCupid.com (free) & I love it already, it is easy to find poly people on this site just enter it in as a key word. Already I have made some friends :D

polycouple 01-26-2011 11:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Senga (Post 63428)
I am a member of SDC.com (a swinger website, free trial or paid membership) but there are some polys on there as well.
I also just joined OkCupid.com (free) & I love it already, it is easy to find poly people on this site just enter it in as a key word. Already I have made some friends :D

HHHHhhhhmmm, maybe I will check out OkCupid.

I was thinking meet-ups might be a good place to meet poly people though I don't think there are any occurring near me, at least not that I know of.

Athena 01-26-2011 11:40 PM

PolyMatchmaker might be another venue to try as it is specifically about poly people. And even mono single people take forever to find a match, so it is about patience! My husband and I are having similar experiences in frustration, though he is more of a swinger, and I am more poly oriented.


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