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-   -   Polyamory and rights (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=591)

Degenerate 08-04-2009 06:14 AM

Polyamory and rights
 
The marriage thread I wrote got me thinking..

Anyone here who is poly and out can probably think of examples when we have encountered prejudice.. but what about discrimination?

I have in my head that really the only rights issue affecting us is the one of legal marriages, and that most of the rest can be got around by how we manage things. This is how it works for me right now, but I was curious about how others have expereinced things.

I am asking because I am an activist involved in a network which fights for sexual/ity equality for all ( www.caan.org.uk ) and want to make sure that where and if relevant we are including anything relating to poly issues... our statement clearly includes poly in its parameter:


"We believe in the right of consenting adults to make their own sexual choices, in respect of what they do, see and enjoy alone or with other consenting adults, unhindered and unfettered by government."

"We believe that it is not the business of government to intrude into the sex lives of consenting adults." (sign up here if you want to :-) http://www.caan.org.uk/sign.php )


Maybe I am just expecting there to be more issues than this because I spend a lot of time dealing with queer issues and BDSM related issues (some of our practices are illegal here on that front) - so by comparison, although poly is less well known, we seem to have fewer issues - for example, it's not illegal to be poly, like at has been illegal to be gay or is illegal to practice most forms of sadomasochism.

Am I right that marriage is the only issue affecting us as far as rights are concerned, and the rest is simply about awareness raising when possible to fix the prejudice? Do you think we are affected by other rights issues which are not fixed by opening up marriage to poly people? Would love to hear anything anyone has to say on this matter.


De

AutumnalTone 08-04-2009 11:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Degenerate (Post 3996)
The marriage thread I wrote got me thinking..

Anyone here who is poly and out can probably think of examples when we have encountered prejudice.. but what about discrimination?

I've heard of incidents where a couple divorced and one used the poly proclivities of the other to get custody of the children. I'd say using poly against parents in custody matters is a form of discrimination.

lost2darkness 08-05-2009 12:02 AM

I think that there is less civil discrimination against poly than there was (or is) for homosexuality and BDSM culture, but the stigma attached to couples or singles who are "swingers" is thus far pretty negative. Of course, with the younger generation, I think that stigma may slowly begin to disintegrate.

I am concerned about the government determining that polyamorous people would not make good parents, because there are PLENTY of cases of divorced parents (which results in often worse situations), single parents, and just bad parents that aren't poly, but still screw kids over. I think this argument goes hand in hand with whether or not homosexual people are allowed to adopt or keep custody of their kids. Supporting, loving adults who put the needs of children above their own is the key.

berserker239 08-05-2009 03:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SeventhCrow (Post 4038)
I've heard of incidents where a couple divorced and one used the poly proclivities of the other to get custody of the children. I'd say using poly against parents in custody matters is a form of discrimination.

Your fucking right its discrimination. Its these stupid assholes that bend the law to their will. Damn me for my skin colour and its a fucking crime.
Damn me for my love and damn me for my choice to be happy and lets all have a feild day, we can even play "pick on the poly"

Are we gonna have to get a Dr. Martin Luther of poly people. If so i vote mono, maybe theyll listen to one of their own!

Honestly, these people sicken me. To take a child from their parent just because of who they love and chosing to be happy.

What ever happened to the pursuit of fucking happiness?! Another one of America's bullshit lies!

vandalin 08-05-2009 03:20 AM

Quote:

or example, it's not illegal to be poly, like at has been illegal to be gay or is illegal to practice most forms of sadomasochism.
Well, in the US at least, in all states it is illegal to commit polygamy but not polyamory. In some states, it is also "outlaws all forms of cohabitation"...http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedi...s_usa.png...It is not illegal according to the federal govt. though I did find this note interesting: "The Model Penal Code recommends that state legislatures write their laws so that polygamy is classified as a felony. However, some state laws are much more lenient. Despite the laws, polygamy is rarely prosecuted unless in conjunction with another crime such as child abuse."

I found this in regards to Canada on Wikipedia (no, I didn't check the actual code)"...under the Criminal Code of Canada. Under s 293(a), everyone who enters into any form of polygamy or any "conjugal union with more than one person at a time" is guilty of an offense..."

Sorry for the quote craze...just been finding interesting little tidbits about the legalities of polygamy and polyamory. But so far your deduction is about right, recognition of multiple partners and all the legal benefits seems to be the biggest hurdle in the poly legal realm.


You picked a good handle Berserker, now take a deep breath. ;)

berserker239 08-05-2009 04:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by vandalin (Post 4083)

You picked a good handle Berserker, now take a deep breath. ;)

Sorry about that, i got carried away. I just really hate judgemental people that are also narrowminded. If they spent one day on this forum, theyd learn alot about us

vandalin 08-05-2009 04:34 AM

Unfortunately, I don't think most will. People who are narrow-minded/closed-minded tend to ignore anything that would prove them wrong or any point that might contradict their own opinions. Although it is sometimes possible to open their minds, it is very rare unless something drastic happens to them to show them that they are being bigoted and judgemental.

berserker239 08-05-2009 04:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by vandalin (Post 4123)
Unfortunately, I don't think most will. People who are narrow-minded/closed-minded tend to ignore anything that would prove them wrong or any point that might contradict their own opinions. Although it is sometimes possible to open their minds, it is very rare unless something drastic happens to them to show them that they are being bigoted and judgemental.

Thats whats wrong with the world. People want to hate, straight up, just want to hate.

Let them hate us, were great people, its their loss.

vandalin 08-05-2009 04:40 AM

Have to disagree. People don't want to hate...they fear. People hate what they fear. Anything that contradicts the safe world they know is cause to be afraid and since lots of people don't understand fear and how to deal with it, it becomes hate.

Although children that are taught hate, I think they do start with learned-hate and then it becomes fear because what would happen if everything they had been taught all their lives turns out to be wrong? That is a very large fear that most people in their position can not deal with.

Hate is easier to live with for some people than admitting they were wrong.

But I don't want to derail this thread...

berserker239 08-05-2009 04:43 AM

I dont think your derailing it like that. Its just a subbranch in this topic.

I get what you mean about that, but alot of people even when its thrown right in their face will hate you even for proving them wrong.


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