Polyamory.com Forum

Polyamory.com Forum (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/index.php)
-   North America (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=13)
-   -   Anyone in the Northwoods of MN? (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=58929)

Bluecircle 10-16-2013 03:23 AM

Anyone in the Northwoods of MN?
 
My husband and I have been happily married for 5 years now and we are very comfortable with each other and we know who the other one is. I was born and raised in Europe and it was a bit of a culture shock when I moved to the US in 2006 at age 23. Now I am 30 years old and my husband is 44 years old and retired out of the Air Force. We donít have any children together (yet). I told my husband early on that I am attracted to women and men although most of my sexual experiences have been with men. He told me that I didnít have to give up women on his account but there need to be rules. We talked about it a lot and did some research. Eventually we talked about both of us being involved in this relationship. People often say they donít like labels but I have to say labels can make things easier at time and certain labels, I donít mind slapping on my own forehead (such as gorgeous, smart, not to be messed with when hungryÖ). In this case my label would be ďbi-sexual looking for a third for triadĒ, although that doesnít nearly describe what we are looking for. I am looking for a woman who I can love and hate, for my best friend, my sister, my lover. Somebody I can share everything with. My husband has always said itís amazing how much I can love, wholeheartedly without doubt and with incredible trust. And I do, I love him, I trust him and we are good together. Yet I feel that there is more out thereÖ We talked about this and we thought about this and I would not mind sharing my dear husband with such a woman. I will share everything I have and so will he. We are really excited when we dream together of what such a life could look like and how great it could be. Unfortunately this is all a nice idea in theory but how do you find your third soul mate? Especially when you live in a small town. When we moved here earlier this year, the deal was that we would go to the city every other month so I can get out of small town USA. I love it, donít get me wrong but I am still part city girl. So should we start there? How do you do that? Do you just find a bar and start talking to women? I donít knowÖ. How do you find likeminded people? I know there are meetings and maybe I am just self conscious but that seems a bit awkward, too. We live a few hours north of Minneapolis so that doesnít make it any easier. Looking around OK Cupid has not gotten me anywhere yet. I could post in this forum but the few posts I see already on here have little to no responses (as far as I can tell).
I also tried to put myself in those shoes. If I was a single female, why would I want to date a couple? To be friends but in the end I would think Iím the new girl and would always end up with the short straw. I can see that but once the dating gets serious I am prepared to fully commit to and compromise with a third person. This is not just about sex (because it is always partially about sex, I donít care who you are) but itís about a lot more than that. I think in a triad, nobody ever has to be alone but they can be if they want to, if that makes sense. There will always be somebody to free your time up or to spend it with you. I can see a lot of reasons but I understand why a single female wouldnít all of a sudden decide ďoh, I want to date a couple, that sounds like funĒ. It had never crossed my mind when I was single. Maybe that is what makes it so hardÖ.

Northcpl 11-18-2013 10:05 PM

Hello there, we are *brand* new to this, and just exploring the possibilities, but are also in the boonies (Northwoods of MN). I know this thread is over a month old, but just saw it now so thought we would say hi!


All times are GMT. The time now is 12:35 AM.