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-   -   new article...could use some poly support (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=58421)

gorgeouskitten 10-14-2013 06:35 PM

new article...could use some poly support
 
http://www.mommyish.com/2013/10/14/p...thers-funeral/

so im really getting slammed on this one. Im curious at other poly peoples reactions...by boyfriend read it and thought it was good, so no hard feelings there. please feel free to read and comment here and the website :)

GK

london 10-17-2013 07:24 AM

I mean, I blog, but why are you seeking so much validation from these people?

gorgeouskitten 10-17-2013 12:45 PM

not seeking validation, i get paid to right these. :p

Dirtclustit 10-18-2013 01:46 PM

It a perfect example
 
of how some authors are straight up assholes, I understand rivalry, but unless you subscribe to the "any attention is good attention" theory I would tell the authors in the comments to fuck off.

They fully understood where you were coming when you wrote the article, so I can only hope they know you personally or else I would take to mean the comments are written by either ignorants or assholes and they sound intelligent enough to be able to comprehend the meaning behind your words. So I am going to say jealous assholes.

It's hard to write an article that addresses common struggles regarding polyamory, and that article nailed it. It wasn't about you making a tragedy in his life about you, it was piloting your ship down uncertain waters in the boundaries of a being a married woman having a boyfriend who is also married, whom you are close enough with to talk to, but still feeling out those those more definitively lines of all your comfort levels

We all know that some people cannot take advice from metamours, hell some people cannot even meet their metamours face to face, so it's funny for other authors to flick you shit and I would guess it's either because they are part of the hypocrite high and mighty poly crowd, just jealous that you found an angle to talk about relevant poly issues that didn't sound completely fictitious, or it was actually some friendly banter among authors, I don't know, except for two women, all the authors I know are straight up assholes who have a problem with being not holding back all that inner assholism once they get being a a screen name.

I guess the misinterpretations are fairly benign, but personally when I see idiots commenting disingenuously it makes me log in without a screen name and more of less tell them to fuck off.

But it's not my place to cause such a scene, as if it doesn't bother you, it just makes me look like the asshole when I call people assholes

if that makes sense

westVan 02-24-2014 10:59 PM

thank you
 
Thank you for writing this article.
it was helpful in bringing up this topic for discussion between BF and myself, not only regarding the death of his parents and how that would be handled, also a deep discussion about if either of us became ill and hospitalized or dead.
We were able to have a honest conversation about how we would like to handle things, and here are just a few of the questions we discussed:
Would I be able to visit him in the hospital? Would wife even let me know if he became ill? what about the funeral, could I show my respects and say good-bye?
ok honestly we never got any answers but at least we are talking about these things now, thanks to this article

Jesse 05-23-2014 12:32 PM

As far as I can see, the comments on this article aren't as hateful as they were under that one about how your marriage-is-in-the-best-place-it-has-ever-been. Also, no trolls followed you here in reaction to this article. So it seems to have worked out.

You really needn't doubt whether your work is of publishable quality. You don't have to babysit the comments section either, though wouldn't dream to discourage poly activism; there's not enough of it.

As for the content, well, conflicted impulses are only human, and it's good that you refrained from acting on the less advisable ones.

Looks like you stopped writing a few months back. That's a shame.

gorgeouskitten 06-05-2014 05:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jesse (Post 268034)
As far as I can see, the comments on this article aren't as hateful as they were under that one about how your marriage-is-in-the-best-place-it-has-ever-been. Also, no trolls followed you here in reaction to this article. So it seems to have worked out.

You really needn't doubt whether your work is of publishable quality. You don't have to babysit the comments section either, though wouldn't dream to discourage poly activism; there's not enough of it.

As for the content, well, conflicted impulses are only human, and it's good that you refrained from acting on the less advisable ones.

Looks like you stopped writing a few months back. That's a shame.

Thanks :) lots of conflicts with the editors, she vilified me to the readers once and I was pretty much done after that. I miss it some.

Bluebird 06-24-2014 01:52 AM

I read this with interest. My father-in-law will probably pass in the next month or so - he has stage IV esophageal cancer and has already outlived the original timeline given to him by doctors. I am completely out with every person that knows me, including extended family. It is also known to my inlaws that my boyfriend lives with my husband and I. However, there is no doubt that my boyfriend will not be welcome at the funeral as my mother-in-law hates that I am poly.

I worry about how he will want to be there for my husband, his metamour, and how he won't be able to be present. We only live 20 minutes away from where the services will be held. This will make things easier though - he will be able to be helpful and supportive at home, at least. My husband does so much on a day to day basis around the house, and I am sure he will just fall apart with grief.

Anyway, the article got me thinking about my own situation. I don't think it was whiny.

ravi 06-25-2014 08:41 PM

Hi

ravi 06-25-2014 08:53 PM

Hi guys m an Indian 24 guy my name is ravi how r u all


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