The story of Jay.
29 years old, male,
and this is my story
I think I was 13 when I went to the dutch variety of high-school.
Most people are 12, I was a dreamy kid, so it took me an additional year.
My dad and I have had "the" talk many, many times and he answered every question I had.
And there were loads of questions.
Even though I had never really fallen in love, I knew I was bi, the attraction to both sexes was there.
And it was ok to be so.
None of the kids of my previous school went to the same high-school as I did.
All the other kids that did join my class came from other schools and came in tightly knit groups that didn't really mingle or accepted new persons.
For 6 months I was the only loner.
Even though I tried not to be.
At some point I started talking with two guys and connected in a nerdy way.
Computers, dungeons and dragons, that sort of thing.
I'll name em Happy and Silent.
I knew for sure that happy was gay.
He said he wasn't.
But picture Jack from Will and Grace and you get an nice image of Happy.
I fell head over heels for Silent.
My first crush was on a guy.
I think Silent knew, but he never reacted on it.
I think he didn't mind my crush, but did enjoy my company.
We became best friends for years.
Where he was was I and vice versa.
Even till this day he never showed any interest in relationships or sex.
Never had a partner and doesn't seem bothered by that fact.
I'm beginning to think he is an a-sexual.
Silent, Happy and me always met in Silent's house, just to hang out.
Some time later, few months perhaps, we went to happy's house for the first time.
That's where I met Happy's sister, Skatergirl.
Ok, now this was new to me, the crush I had on her, did not diminish the crush I had on Silent.
Well for the next 2 years nothing of interest happened.
In that time my two crushes changed to deep love, although I never told that to anyone.
But things changed when Skatergirl was old enough to enter high-school.
And she brought friends, Gothgirl and Punkgirl.
The six of us became a group when Gothgirl and I became an item.
That lasted for 2 months or so.
She and I didn't work out, there was no connection.
But the group was formed and kept existing.
We hung out nearly every day.
Skater girl and I became a sort of item.
During the week we were just friends, in the weekends more than friends.
This lasted for 3 or 4 years.
At times she had a bf, and I was jealous, but couldn't say anything.
(we weren't a couple)
Other times I had a gf and she would be jealous, but would not say anything.
(we confessed only a week ago to each other that we were in fact jealous when stuff like that happened :) )
At one day the whole group (at that time the group had grown a bit), save for Silent, started talking to Skatergirl, saying she was hurting my feelings.
They thought she should either chose me or not mess with me.
She was upset.
And chose not to be my weekend girl anymore.
I was devastated, I felt betrayed by the whole group.
And heartached for Skatergirl.
Yes I was jealous at times, but she always returned to me.
As did I to her.
I chose to only hang out with Silent.
The group that had lasted for years fell apart within 2 months.
After a few months I couldn't handle being around Silent anymore.
I loved him to much.
He didn't feel the same for me.
At that time high-school was way behind us.
So save for the emotional side of it, it was easy to part.
I was done with friends and or lovers.
Didn't wanted them any more.
At this time I was 19.
Next few years were filled with people I knew.
End of part one.
Will try to write part two as fast as I can.
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