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-   -   Throuples (three-way relationships) (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=57249)

Lottie 10-09-2013 12:56 PM

Throuples (three-way relationships)
What are peoples experiences with throupling?
This may be a potential for me soon but either way I am craving info, experiences and advice. I can't find much anywhere.
The only hiccup with this potential throupling I may enter into, is that I am in a poly primary partnership and we may invite another woman in who is a little younger than us and completely inexperienced with polyamory, though hesitant yet keen! It is a fairly even situation. She began seeing my partner but now I have become involved and we're crushing.

thanks pals!

PolyinPractice 10-09-2013 12:58 PM

Okay, I just can't make myself call it that :) I can't.

Lottie 10-09-2013 01:08 PM

oh c'mon. Its like supple couple times three. Throuple yes. Throupling, maybe not.

pulliman 10-09-2013 01:34 PM

good god, I can't use that word, either.

Then again, if you search for triad, you'll find a bunch on this site. That's how I got started as I was trying to find out more information about the triad that I've been (happily) stumbling into. Sounds like you're doing the same - happily crushing on each other. Woo hoo! Enjoy!

Indygirl78 10-09-2013 01:50 PM

Not a fan of the word myself. But what you are suggesting is a triad where everyone is involved with everyone else, yes?

Natja 10-09-2013 02:43 PM

I remember reading somewhere a 'thruple' (agree damn stupid word) was defined as a threesome where everyone joined together at the same or nearly the same time and there was no primary couple previously existing and therefore no couple privilege.

I know it's totally made up but I like that definition. Anyhow what you are thinking of is more commonly referred to as a triad, probably a super bad idea to get involved with your metamour but that never stopped anyone. ;)

Dagferi 10-09-2013 03:35 PM

Good luck with that...:rolleyes:

Magdlyn 10-09-2013 09:13 PM

If a male and a female partner go hunting for a single bi babe for them both to "love" and fuck, it generally doesn't work. Usually the unicorn gets fed up with feeling like a 3rd wheel, a dirty secret, a babysitter. She doesn't get invited to activities (extended family or work parties, or any outdoor event where she might be seen or introduced as a lover), she's in the closet, she can't tell her friends she's in a relationship with a couple as they will all think she is crazy. Sometimes the established couple won't let her have sex with them individually, only with them together, or go out on dates one on one, while they get to have sex one on one with each other, or go on dates, whenever they want. Sometimes they have her move across country and into their home, only to treat her like a housemaid, or worse. She may not even get her own room. She may not have other partners. She may not share in finances. She may not get pregnant by the man's sperm.

Now, your situation is slightly different since you and your bf didn't go looking for a hot bi babe to "add" or "share" or "complete you", it just started happening.

So, if your potential gf is allowed other partners, maybe already has a bf or gf of her own, has her own place nearby and her own transportation, her own financial independence, is "allowed" to get pregnant by your shared bf should she want to, with legal financial, practical and emotional support in place, is allowed to be "out" to your family and friends, can have dates and sex individually with each of you, etc., etc., this all could work.

Lottie 10-09-2013 11:38 PM

ok, for the record, throuple is fucking hilarious and i def choose it over triad. Though Triad sounds like a really cool gang. It is a gang isnt it?
Thanks for the heads up on the more common term, would make sense as to why I couldn't find much.

Magdlyn, that description sounds incredibly depressing but yes she has absolute agency to do what she wants and date whoever she feels. That is the point of polyamory right?
She lives close, has her own transport, we all live in different houses. We're not out yet but that is because it is still very new, but we are lucky to live in a commmunity where some friends are poly and no one bats an eye, though I think we are the first potential THROUPLE. She already comes out with us and has made mutual friends so there isn't any of that unhealthy type behaviour that was mentioned.

It is still new so I am hesitant to make any presumptions, but I could assume that the situation would be: me and him / her and him / me and her / all of us together! ....this is me on a happy high and not taking everything into consideration which is why I have turned to you all:

would love to heart some success stories, advice, experiences..

Dagferi 10-09-2013 11:45 PM

When I ran a poll on here out of 65 participants only 9 were of a triad like arrangement.. That should tell you something. Almost half were a V or similar arrangement.

Think about it.

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