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-   -   marriage evolved into polamory (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=5629)

webethree 01-19-2011 11:05 PM

marriage evolved into polamory
 
I am new to this blog, so let me explain our situation. My wife and I have been married for 16 years and have two children, I have always felt that I was a little inadequate in the sex dept. I felt like I wasn't fulfilling her like she wanted, so I brought up the idea of bringing another guy into the relationship to satisfy her. Well she found a guy on the internet and we ended up meeting for dinner and hit it off and got together for a threesome, she really enjoyed it. We had set some ground rules before hand about it being for sex only, but after about three meetings she told me she had really connected with him and had feelings for him. I was upset at first, she kept saying she loved me in one way and loved him in another, but that she had enough love for both of us and I would always come first. She see's him every other weekend, for the first couple of months I contemplated on whether I could handle this or not, I am not a jealous person by nature so I thought sharing her might work out, but I spent alot of sleepless nights pondering on it. Now it has been going on for about a year, and I have to say our relationship has grown immensely, our communication has never been better and we have a bond like I have never felt before. We have even had her boyfriend over for some family get togethers,though as far as the family knows he is just a friend. This is a little of the story of how we got in polyamory.

sage 01-20-2011 04:14 AM

Hi and welcome

Great to hear positive stories of polyamory working well.

I'd be interested to know how you identify yourself, as mono or poly? Is your relationship a V or a triad?
Do you have romantic or sexual feelings for this guy that aren't centred around your wife?

webethree 01-20-2011 01:15 PM

Sage, I describe myself as mono in this relationship, I have no feelings for the other partner. As for being in a triad or v, I would like some explanation on these terms we are new to this board so I am just learning what a lot of things mean. We really didn't know what kind of relationship we had until we started searching out if anyone else was doing the same thing. I have no sexual feelings for her partner, she see's him every other weekend and at times he comes to our home. I will say that it took a few months for me to really open up to him but we have become friends since.

NeonKaos 01-20-2011 02:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by webethree (Post 62129)
Sage, I describe myself as mono in this relationship, I have no feelings for the other partner. As for being in a triad or v, I would like some explanation on these terms we are new to this board so I am just learning what a lot of things mean. We really didn't know what kind of relationship we had until we started searching out if anyone else was doing the same thing. I have no sexual feelings for her partner, she see's him every other weekend and at times he comes to our home. I will say that it took a few months for me to really open up to him but we have become friends since.


That's a V.

lovinhimloviner 01-20-2011 04:17 PM

I wish you all luck. My husband and I are in a V at the moment. He is the hinge that holds us together. It can work out great but as I am sure you know it is hard work. They have threads on here that are set up specifically explaining the terms used in this life. Please feel free to look around, read some of the other posts and start posting to them. This is a good way for everyone to get to know you and for us to get useful information about how you make your relationship work. Thank you for posting.


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