Polyamory.com Forum

Polyamory.com Forum (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/index.php)
-   Introductions (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=9)
-   -   Introducing myself.... (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=55384)

HannahM 09-14-2013 04:43 AM

Introducing myself....
 
OK...So I'm being honest...Totally new to this idea. I am wanting to try dating a couple. Yes I mean date not just hook up. I understand that the couple's primary interest is each other but this is what I am interested in. I want to be able to know that my partner is okay that I cannot give them 100% of my attention and if they are a couple then at least they have each other when I can't be there. Make since?? =) I hope that I get taken seriously.

Thank you!

Interested single lady! =)

Natja 09-14-2013 09:23 AM

Hello Hannah,

Welcome!!! :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by HannahM (Post 229557)
I want to be able to know that my partner is okay that I cannot give them 100% of my attention and if they are a couple then at least they have each other when I can't be there.


Well you would think so wouldn't you except they can sometimes get jealous of each other and that can lead to pressure on you to act in a way that confirms to their ideas as to how the relationship should be and how you should behave. Or they could both withdraw to work on 'reconnecting', thereby leading to you losing both partners (not nice). Also, I'm sure you will get plenty of offers from couples who are miles away from you but think you would be perfect anyway and it is ok because you can all visit one another and eventually they would want you to relocate to them anyway so location is not such a big deal......

Personally I don't think it is worth it but if you are still keen on dating a couple please read some of the threads here about it and be wise to any and all potential problems within this dynamic :)

Welcome again!!!!

HannahM 09-14-2013 10:27 PM

Thank you.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Natja (Post 229610)
Hello Hannah,

Welcome!!! :)




Well you would think so wouldn't you except they can sometimes get jealous of each other and that can lead to pressure on you to act in a way that confirms to their ideas as to how the relationship should be and how you should behave. Or they could both withdraw to work on 'reconnecting', thereby leading to you losing both partners (not nice). Also, I'm sure you will get plenty of offers from couples who are miles away from you but think you would be perfect anyway and it is ok because you can all visit one another and eventually they would want you to relocate to them anyway so location is not such a big deal......

Personally I don't think it is worth it but if you are still keen on dating a couple please read some of the threads here about it and be wise to any and all potential problems within this dynamic :)

Welcome again!!!!



Thank you for the welcome and the advice. I really appreciate it and I will definitely do some more research on this. Yes I know that there is a large possibility of both of them leaving me and I still am willing to take the risk. Thank you!!!!:)

kdt26417 09-15-2013 02:25 AM

Hi HannahM,
Welcome to our forum.

Just remember that as an "add-on" to an existing couple -- they might dub you a "secondary" partner -- you have rights and should stand up for them if they get violated.

Check out this link:
http://www.morethantwo.com/polyforsecondaries.html#bor

Would you mainly just be connecting with one of the two people, or would you more be connecting with both people? I get the impression that being "secondary" is okay with you because you don't want to have to commit 100%. Just make sure you stand up for your rights too.

Glad to have you with us.
Sincerely,
Kevin T.

HannahM 09-15-2013 03:02 AM

Thank you
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by kdt26417 (Post 229769)
Hi HannahM,
Welcome to our forum.

Just remember that as an "add-on" to an existing couple -- they might dub you a "secondary" partner -- you have rights and should stand up for them if they get violated.

Check out this link:
http://www.morethantwo.com/polyforsecondaries.html#bor

Would you mainly just be connecting with one of the two people, or would you more be connecting with both people? I get the impression that being "secondary" is okay with you because you don't want to have to commit 100%. Just make sure you stand up for your rights too.

Glad to have you with us.
Sincerely,
Kevin T.


Thank you for the welcome. :-) yes you are correct that I don't mind being secondary. :-) I will make sure to stand for my rights. I am willing to have a relationship with one or both.

kdt26417 09-15-2013 09:33 PM

Sounds good.

The818 09-17-2013 01:43 AM

New here too...
 
Hi Hannah.. similar to you I'm new to this.. although not so new to joining couples. I'm a single bi male.. and in the past have joined couples for threesomes.. but mostly just for sexual fun. However, I have recently become more interested in polyamory and just this past weekend met a couple that is looking for more of a relationship as well as sexual pleasures. I know that for this to work the three of us all have to be on the same page.. and I think that we are. I found this forum and hope to gain knowledge and share my own experiences. By the way I'm in the Los Angeles area in case there's any local support groups that might be available.

kdt26417 09-17-2013 10:38 PM

Los Angeles is said to be a city with a well-established poly population. Try these links (for example):

http://www.familysynergy.org/
http://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/SoCalPoly/info
http://polyamory.meetup.com/cities/us/ca/los_angeles/
http://www.kwink.com/dating-communit...ty/los-angeles
http://polyevents.blogspot.com/#localgroups


All times are GMT. The time now is 05:07 AM.