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-   -   Dealing with Breakups (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=54784)

skittleskittens 09-09-2013 11:36 PM

Dealing with Breakups
 
My SO recently broke up with his other partner and I'm trying to think of ways to help him through it. Any thoughts?

bookbug 09-10-2013 02:22 AM

My SO is going through divorce. I think the best thing I can do for him is be a sounding board as he works through it. There are no magical cures. :/ Even if something is logically understood, it takes the emotions a long time to catch up.

The other thing, and this may depend on temperament and circumstances, is to give him his space when he needs it, and not be overly demanding of attention. In my case, my guy has children and helping them successfully weather the transition is his focus. That is as it should be and I respect that.

I am sorry. I hope this helps. Unfortunately, there just isn't much you can do, but love him and be supportive.

Ariakas 09-10-2013 03:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by skittleskittens (Post 227564)
My SO recently broke up with his other partner and I'm trying to think of ways to help him through it. Any thoughts?

Really depends on your partner. I know what didn't help me.

My wife is exceptionally empathetic. This just caused spirals. Where I needed strength she showed me empathy.. it wasn't what I needed.
She initially didn't ask me what I wanted/needed. Thats a good place to start
Everytime I go through a breakup the "there are other fish in the sea" mantra just bugged me, didn't help me. Other fish, at that time, were not what I wanted.

Show love, listen.. and he will come out the other side

GalaGirl 09-10-2013 04:08 AM

Do the ministry of presence -- BE THERE for them.

Need practical ideas? Could pick one.

http://goodlifezen.com/21-ways-to-co...end-in-crisis/

HTH!
GG


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