Polyamory.com Forum

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Sailor 01-17-2011 04:17 AM

Hello hello
Hi everyone,

I'm Sailor and I am in a relationship with two people within a power-based dynamic context. My Daddy is gender queer, 15 years older than me (I'm 34) and lives on the west coast. I live on the east coast and could be described as pansexual. We've been seeing each other for almost two years. It's been amazing and challenging and I've grown a ton. Though we have a D/s relationship because that is very natural to us, we're multi-dimensional in how we relate. We are in love, romantic, very sexual and very intimate. We see each other every six weeks to two months for a chunk of time (usually three to six weeks depending). We have goals of creating a poly/leather family and we have started that already. I have a boy who serves me here and though we are not romantic, we have been sexual and love each other. We see each other frequently. All three of us get along great and support each other in our ways within our different dynamics.

Currently my big struggle is jealousy (I know, I know, popular topic) as my Daddy has a lover (trans male) where he lives. They are dating and intimate. I like him and enjoy his company and we've had some great conversations. Still, because of a few poor decisions on my Daddy's end in the past when they first got together and because of just some basic insecurity on my end, I struggle. It's very difficult for me to spend time with my Daddy living together and for him to go back to the west coast and spend time with his lover there. I want to support it and feel comfort and ease and yet I get jello when they spend time together. My life here isn't as exciting. I am in the process of rebuilding my life here as I just quit my job and my emotional capacity has been tapped from being with him and my boy - considering I am new to having intimate long lasting relationships in general.

Still, what we are doing with my Daddy is how I imagined my relationship(s) would be one day. I just never anticipated all the emotional work required, but not only that, I never realized how much work I need to do in terms of breaking down old communication and relating patterns that I learned from my family of origin. So yeah, I've been neck deep in my stuff and I'm hoping 2011 will be a lighter year all the way around.

That's my intro. Looking forward to getting more involved in the forum. Glad it's here.


ImaginaryIllusion 01-18-2011 02:30 AM

Welcome to the Forum.

Fair winds and following seas.

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