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-   -   Single female in Michigan looking for mm or mmm (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=53176)

Brie23 08-23-2013 05:28 PM

Single female in Michigan looking for mm or mmm
 
Hello i am a 29 year old female. I'm looking for a relationship with at least two men it doesn't matter if they are strait or bi. I am not apposed to starting a relationship off with one as long as he knows that at some point i would like to add another male to the equation. I would like something to eventually lead to long term with the possibility of starting a family. I would also like to explore the submissive side of myself.

vattedmalt 10-02-2013 06:45 AM

I am no where near Michigan, but guys like us do exist depending on what you're looking for. You mention wanting to explore your submissive side, but to be more specific, are you looking for submission to multiple men in a poly relationship, or submission to one male and then be dominant and/or equal to the other(s) ?

This could be a very interesting discussion that I haven't found anywhere else yet: Since the dominant & submissive roles are so easily defined in a 'traditional' relationship, what happens, and how many combinations are there when there's three, four or more in a relationship and how does it balance out so that everyone get's what they're looking for and need out of it ?

sterling119 10-02-2013 02:15 PM

In Michigan
 
Hello, first off there are others here in michigan in the poly life....We are currently in a poly v with my wife as the "hinge" between myself and J, He is a man we grew up with and have a history with. Been living together since last april and for the most part it is going very well...so I can tell you it does work. Hopefully you will find what your looking for and can have as happy of a life as we currently are together. We are quite a bit older then you are, all are in our late 40's so at this point for us having a family is not an issure for us as we already all have children. We have talked about bringing in another female however it seems to be impossibile to find but we will continue to look and if it happens it does and if not we will enjoy what we have. I am sure at the young age of 29 your not interested.....lol. We would love to chat though and can help eachother through the journey if you like. We can tell you problems will crop up but they can be worked through if all are willing and the rewards are many. Good luck and happy hunting, your not alone..

JCFunshine 11-08-2013 09:57 PM

Also in MI...not what you are looking for in a partner, but if you're interested in chatting with someone local, feel free to send me a message!

Brie23 11-08-2013 10:12 PM

Thank you JCFunshine and sterling119 I would love to chat with you. It is a little daunting starting out in this. It's not really something you can go to your parents about and they will be a fountain of information to help and guide you. I know there will be problems and probably a few times that i want to say screw this. But i think it will be worth the effort in the end.

and vattedmalt I am so sorry it took so long to reply and to sterling as well. Life can get a little crazy around here. To answer you vattedmalt that would depend on the personalities of the people i would think and how everyone fits together. I know a few people who are not dominate or possessive of anything in their life and they met that one person that kind of pulls it out of them.

SchrodingersCat 11-09-2013 11:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by vattedmalt (Post 234708)
This could be a very interesting discussion that I haven't found anywhere else yet: Since the dominant & submissive roles are so easily defined in a 'traditional' relationship, what happens, and how many combinations are there when there's three, four or more in a relationship and how does it balance out so that everyone get's what they're looking for and need out of it ?

It's come up a bit. I've seen arrangements where someone is submissive to one partner, dominant to another, but the dominance is not passed down through the chain (i.e. the sub's Dom is not the sub's sub's Dom). I've seen arrangements where a Dominant couple shared a submissive. I've even seen arrangements where a sub had two non-coupled Dominants, but I'm not sure on the details. I'm assuming much negotiation was required. Another thing I've seen is a married person getting a Dominant outside the marriage because the spouse wasn't into D/s.

There are no hard and fast rules for how it works. Everyone needs to negotiate their own arrangements and be respectful of the needs of other members in the arrangement. I imagine any attempt at setting rules for metamour's behaviour, for example, would crash and burn.


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