Polyamory.com Forum

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-   -   j, is now Jay. (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=5124)

Jay 01-13-2011 11:12 PM

j, is now Jay.
Hello all,

I'm Jay.
29 years old, male.
I'm a lab technician and photographer.
And I love.

I was introduced on this forum as j, in Robin's story.
I'm Joyce's bf.
As I'm introduced as j, I'll stick to the name. Only a bit modified. :)

My intro might be a bit confusing to read, as I'm slightly dyslectic.
And there is the fact my life just did a vertical U turn.
And is now turned upside-down.

Most people here who say that here mean: eh, I I think I'm poly. Help.
Or: my partner has just gone poly. Help.

Well, being able to love several people at the same time was not a big surprise for me. That has always felt natural.
Being bi wasn't either. Even as a child I was very secure about my sexuality.
Some times it was a boy, other times it was a girl I fell in love with.
Never really cared for the shapes and sizes of wobbly bits, they're all fun to play with.

I'm married to c, my wife.
When I met her we found out we viewed love and gender the same way.
We have been married for 4 years.
Have 2 kids.
The relationship is 8 years old.
We worked to an open or poly relationship from day one.
It ended last Saturday. Not the poly thing, but the relationship with c ended.

3 years ago c and I lived in a triad for a year with a guy m.
That triad had a rough start and a violent ending.
The middle part was nice and happy.

5 months ago, Joyce and I discovered that the feelings we had for each other for years were mutual.
Robin and I had a long conversation in witch at the end I asked robin if I could ask Joyce if she would be my girlfriend.
If he said no, than that would be that.
He said yes.
So did Joyce.
c was happy for me. As she knew how I felt for Joyce.

On hindsight, perhaps I wasn't clear enough to Robin about what I was asking.
I thought I was though.
Second, Joyce and I took things to fast for Robin to be comfortable with.
So we're taking things slow at the moment.

I hope things will work out fine. For everyone.

I have already read a whole bunch of threads and got to know you all for a small bit.
It's nice to meet you all.


LovingRadiance 01-13-2011 11:21 PM

Nice to see that you did indeed join the board.
But, did I just read that your marriage ended on Saturday??????

Jodi 01-13-2011 11:26 PM

i'm sorry that your marriage ended. but it sounds as if you are still friends, plus you have children, no? best of luck!!!

Jay 01-13-2011 11:31 PM

Yeah..you did :(
Was c's decision.

Joyce already said it in her introduction.

illusion010101 01-14-2011 02:20 PM

well welcome to the site. sorry about the marriage ending, hope the rest of the year has better things in store for you and yours.

Joyce 01-14-2011 03:13 PM

Hey, do I know you? ;)


It is a confrontation to actually read that your marriage ended. I already knew that of course, but it still sounds so unreal.

I hope you do find some support and understanding here for your situation.

Good luck.


LovingRadiance 01-14-2011 07:40 PM

I'm sorry Jay,
I missed that post.

Sometimes all I have time to do is scan through real quick between demands from my little guys. :)

At any rate, hugs to all and welcome to the forum.

Jay 01-14-2011 10:29 PM

I know how that is.

LovingRadiance 01-14-2011 10:31 PM

And so,

You're in this complicated life changing moment.

How are you handling it?

Would love to hear more about you.


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