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-   -   next level? (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=5112)

Jodi 01-13-2011 04:29 PM

next level?
 
it's been 7 months that i've been with my boyfriend. his wife and i were intimate for a couple of months but decided it was not for us, since we've been friends for many years, but she wanted to experiment so i agreed.

i feel very attached to her hub, my boyfriend. it's still at the infatuation stage for me. he also has feelings.

i guess what i'm trying to say, is that sometimes it's hard being content just seeing him once or twice a week. occasionally we all do things as a family, like the beach, watch a move, bowling, etc. as a family, they have 4 children and i do too.

i don't have a problem, it's just hard sometimes for me, bcz, they are together everynight w/ eachother and i am single now..and happy, but sometimes it feels lonely when i want to be with him or him and her together.

thanks for reading.

ray 01-13-2011 08:11 PM

Hey jodi, I guess I'm in a similar situation (dating married SO for 6 months) and sometimes I, too, feel that twinge. I do get to see him pretty frequently but obviously the whole living the same house, sleeping in the same bed, being married thing trumps what I have in the end. My relationship with him is very special to me and I do really enjoy the things we do have. I suppose some relationships become more like co-primaries in that they all live together and share more time/decision making influence in the lives of their SO's. I would say that Mono and RP are an example to me of what taking a secondary relationship to the next level looks like. As they say, being a secondary is not for everyone. I'm still figuring out what the hell I'm doing. The only thing I know for sure right now is that being with O in whatever form I can is better for me than not being with him at all. That could certainly change. Maybe you guys can sit down and talk about what possibilities the future might hold? What things you guys are all looking for from each other. But I definitely empathize with you on the loneliness. I've been feeling it the last few days myself.

Jodi 01-13-2011 11:35 PM

i know ray, but on the bright side...we don't deal with all of the annoyances of paying bills together, trying to negotiate who's turn it is to clean the bathroom, that kind of thing...

it still is a special relationship...but, yes, they have the 17 year bond. to witness their intimacy is amazing to me. i do feel privileged.

i know that my life is far better with him...and his wife and his children than without them.

i don't know if i could sit down in a serious way with them..they're so laid back..but i did mnention moving down south in 15 years and sharing a home when the kids are bigger. one day at a time, right?

thanks for ur reply. nice to meet someone who understands.


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