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Vivien 01-13-2011 04:03 PM

Hi, everyone.

I'm a 36 yo lesbian with two romantic partners. My primary partner and I (looking for better terminology, but "primary" works for now) have been together in an open relationship for almost ten years. We live together, along with our preschool-aged child. My girlfriend and I are a new couple; we dated briefly about twelve years ago and then reconnected last fall. I spend two nights a week at her place, and she's been spending another two or three nights a week at our place. The two of them get along well, and right now it's happy-happy-joy-joy.

I read a lot; just finished Tristan Taormino's Opening Up, and I'm reading Sex At Dawn now. Before that I read Michelle Tea and Lauren McCubbin's Rent Girl. I like music (going through an Otis Redding phase right now) and art, gardening, and cooking.

I'd love to get to know some more poly people. I sometimes struggle to balance self-care with caring for my two partners and my son. I feel guilty complaining -- after all, I'm thhe Queen Bee here, right?! -- but being the fulcrum in a V can be challenging. It will be nice to chat with people who know what I'm talking about.


RfromRMC 01-13-2011 05:33 PM

Welcome to the board. Glad to have you here.

I understand some of what you say---our triad started off as a V.

Like you, "M" often talked about the "challenges of being the hinge". I think that was part of what gave extra inspiration to me and C to try to make a connection, so as to lighten the burden load off of him. I think it has helped some, even though he's still sorta "our group leader" in a way. ;)
If you think your two girlfriends would consider even being friends together, it can certainly help, in my view. Just a thought.

Hope to see you around the boards.

Vivien 01-13-2011 06:05 PM

Hi, R! Thanks for sharing. My two partners are friendly; I think they're enjoying getting to know each other more and more. It helps immensely that they can talk to each other and have things in common other than me. We were in a similar situation (a V with me in the middle) a few years ago, and those two never connected. Much tougher!

Looking forward to getting to know you better!

Jodi 01-14-2011 12:48 AM

hi vivien. welcome. i've been on this forum for a few months now. ur little one is lucky to have all that love and support! i have 4 children, my younger ones seem comfortable with my poly lifestyle, my teens, that's another story. ha.

i'm glad that things are happy for you right now. enjoy it!!

illusion010101 01-14-2011 02:26 PM

welcome to the forums. all the best.

Vivien 01-14-2011 02:36 PM

Thank you both for the welcome!

opalescent 01-14-2011 03:23 PM


As a total newbie here, I don't quite feel comfortable yet saying 'welcome' so I will leave things at 'hello!' It's good to see other lesbians on the board too.

Vivien 01-14-2011 03:30 PM

Yes, it is! Hi!

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