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-   -   Trying to find partners on dating sites (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=502)

CanadianPagan 07-22-2009 02:31 AM

Trying to find partners on dating sites
I was just wondering if anyone else has tried to find partners (for lack of a better word) on regular dating sites? I'm giving it a try, and so far, one potential, who is also poly, and two who have cussed at me, and then blocked me.

Now, clearly, I am better off without the cussers, but I would like to avoid it, if I can. I have made it very clear by my name, and in my profile, that I am poly. Any advice on what else I can do? Or maybe a poly dating site in Canada?

Thanks bunches to all who can help.

ImaginaryIllusion 07-23-2009 02:02 AM

I'm curious what site you are on that they'd cuss you out...seems a little harsh.

At any rate, there's a few you can try...
For poly people in particular....although I think the user base is still pretty small...

POF ... best part, free...largish user base. However, not overly friendly to poly or alternative lifestyles...gender & preference options are very straight forward. There's nothing preventing Bi's or Poly's, but you're only 'supposed' to have one account, and it doesn't let you look for both men & women at the same time on the same account....even if you tell the system you're bi. There's a lot of filters which people turn on to block married people, or casual sex seekers.

OKC is also free...a little more flexible about bi's, and has options for open relationship, although it rephrases things, like open marriage becomes 'Available'. Big thing on OKC is quiz questions to allow the system to match you up with like minded folk. I'm not sure if there's actually a lot of Poly's on there, but you'll probably find a lot of them perkilating in your high %age matches since they'll answer many of the questions similarly.

CanadianPagan 07-23-2009 03:50 AM

I'm on Lavalife. I know, crazy, right? I was actually chatting with a couple someones off the site, and when i turned out not to be what they wanted, they got extremely rude, to say the least, and then logged off. I mean, is it too much to ask that they would be polite? Apparently so.

Thanks for the tips of sites to try. I'll have to check them out.

Olivier 07-23-2009 04:39 AM

I'm still planning to setup a dating site on this domain. It shouldn't be hard because we already own one of the bigger dating sites out there. Just need to put some time into it.

ImaginaryIllusion 07-23-2009 02:26 PM

Yeah, that'd probably be the problem. By reputation, sites like LavaLife and eHarmony are specifically geared to christian cultural norms.

At least one of them was created/run by a fairly pius individual who makes it the sites company policy to keep it that way. His watchdogs will hunt down and delete profiles that even mention Poly, swinging, being married.

Unfortunatly rightous types seem to miss the message about loving thy neighbors (too bad for us I guess), but on the bright side, rudeness is usually the extent they'll stop at.

River 07-23-2009 10:35 PM


Originally Posted by Olivier (Post 3080)
I'm still planning to setup a dating site on this domain.[....] Just need to put some time into it.


Do you have a sense of when this might happen?

AutumnalTone 07-28-2009 04:12 AM

OKC has a number of poly folk. the OKC forums are generally cesspools, though the Alternative Lifestyles forum tends to get more interesting threads--and that's where the poly folk (and kinky folk and swinging folk and so forth) tend to participate.

AutumnalTone 07-28-2009 04:13 AM

I think there's a need for a good poly dating site.

Indref 08-02-2009 07:03 PM

I was about to post this exact question.

I have a profile on PoF and OKC. So far, OKC has been the more successful, with the whole question system, and the fact that the profile settings allow for the flexibility.

So far, I've met and moved on from one relationship started on OKC, and PoF has been a quiet, silent disappointment. As an example, if I look in my city within 100km, for ANYONE into poly, I get zero results. No matter how I type it. There are people on there if I remove the distance specification, but the number is waaay low.

So yes, we need a poly dating site. This polymatchmaker thingy is new to me, so I'll be trying that.

River 08-02-2009 09:40 PM

Some poly-oriented "dating" sites are included in the below.:

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