Polyamory.com Forum

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-   -   Flear here (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=50032)

Flear 07-14-2013 09:45 PM

Flear here
you can learn a lot in a year.

looking for aquarium information to do what the hobby has otherwise said is "impossible" yet that's exactly what i'm researching there and having remarkable success. a tank i can ignore for weeks or months at a time and still have a thriving tank, ... may not be what everyone says "looks pretty" or is absolutely aesthetically pleasing. but something that will last for a long time with little to no input.

for polygamy/polyamory, i'm learning, it started out years ago going from something i can say is out there while i played with the idea, to something i realized i was serious about, that it was part of who i am, ... to something i am trying to fit into my life.

it starts out small, and the more i got into it the more i realized there is to learn. and the more i realized i had made a some inaccurate assumptions about priorities and how to get it to unfold.

and after finding this site, reading even a little bit, i realized, "damn, i've been trying too hard".

so here i am, learning more, having more available than i realized was available. and learning a new, better, way to go about things to make it work.

never had 2 women in my life at one time, but the adventure to get to this point has been rewarding in itself. learning about myself, learning about what's important, ... and something i overlooked, ... and (rightly or not) the importance to show a prospective lady that i'm interested in providing for her in every way she would have thought a monogamous person should.

it's a progression that i am eager to travel down and see where it leads me, to see what kind of person i am and what i can do and (don't want to admit it) what i can't do.


otherwise, i'm at work, (call center) it's not that i spend all day unemployed at home that there may be lots of posts from me every day all hours of the day, ... it's because i'm infront of a computer all day, every day, and getting payed for it :)

FullofLove1052 07-15-2013 04:33 AM

Welcome to the forum, Flear. As with anything, you can always expand your knowledge on a topic and constantly grow. One thing most people encourage with poly and relationships as a whole are to let them flow and happen naturally.

I wish you well on your journey, and I do hope you find the forum of some use to you. Feel free to read around and learn all that you can. If you have questions about anything, just ask, and I am sure someone will respond. I do hope all is well your way. :)


Flear 07-15-2013 04:45 AM

thanks :)
from my first post on here, ... my head was pretty scattered about what i was going through, ... within 5 min. it was like "wow, that really makes sense, it's like what i was searching for but didn't know", that helped settle me right down and get my head on straight

i so want to post thoughts and opinions and such right away, but for some things (this place) i think it's best i get a better grasp of everything instead of just knowing this is where my life is going. to give me some perspective on what comes next, even the parts of "k, now we're ready to start looking", long before an actual relationship starts and to know what it's up against when things don't work out.

FullofLove1052 07-15-2013 05:21 AM

Well, might I suggest the Life Stories and Blogs? This is the part of the site where you can tell your story and chronicle your journey. Even if you are not ready to start a blog of your own, read through the many blogs. I do not have any particular favourites. In my free time, I like to read them. You just might find one that stands out to you that you can relate to. At some point, we were all newbies and venturing in to the unknown. Even the most seasoned people people still wonder where they are going and how will they get there.

There is so much to learn. It makes for an interesting journey, and you will find that being poly has its perks and disadvantages. This is subjective. I would strongly suggest reading around the forum and seeing the types of issues that people deal with. That will give you an idea of what can go wrong in these relationships and also how you should not conduct yours.

If you have questions, post away and ask.


Life Stories and Blogs

kdt26417 07-15-2013 08:15 PM

Hello Flear,
Welcome to our forum.

It sounds like you have been learning quite a bit lately. I'm glad Polyamory.com has been some help so far.

I agree with FullofLove1052 that the Life Stories and Blogs are worth looking into. Hope you get a chance to tell your own story as well as read others'.

Glad to have you aboard.
Kevin T.

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