Polyamory.com Forum

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-   -   Love is a Gift (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=496)

CanadianPagan 07-20-2009 04:44 PM

Love is a Gift
 
Hello,
I am CanadianPagan. Nice to meet you all.

To tell you a little about myself, I am a single, bisexual, polyamorous, female who has been celibate for almost four years. Why, you may ask?

I have never really felt "right" in mono relationships, and while I was never into being a cheat, I often wanted to, and sometimes did, spend intimate time with people other than my partner, usually with their knowledge, though I'm not sure it was with consent. I wanted it all to be out there in the open, rather than a joke or an open secret. I wanted to talk about it. Over time, I have come to realize the major reason things never worked was a huge lack of communication all around.

The last relationship I had was my first poly one, with a married couple, but they were as new to the concept of poly as I was, and none of us really knew how to handle things. It felt more like swinging than truly a partnership. They would mostly spend time with me as a couple, rarely as individuals, so things weren't really able to develop naturally with myself and either of them. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed our time as a group, but I want a more equal partnership with people who understand that even couples are made up of individuals, and one-on-one time is essential. I very much felt like a "secondary" part of their lives, which just isn't me. Maybe they shared their feelings with each other (I don't really know), but I was left out of the loop, and their "rules" seemed to change without notice. I couldn't handle it anymore.

I thought maybe I just wasn't cut out for poly either, and thus chose to cut myself off completely from dating and relationships, but now I see myself more clearly. After lurking here, and doing more research on polyamory, I realize what the problem is, and I am debating trying again. I have so much love in my heart, and I feel deprived not giving it. I thought I would join so I have more support than last time (when I had none), and since I have seen mostly positive encouragement from the members of these boards, maybe it is the place for me.

Thanks for listening.

MonoVCPHG 07-20-2009 05:19 PM

Welcome to the Forums! I'm sure you will get lots of support here..the people are great:)

WaywardDruid 07-20-2009 08:34 PM

Hello & Welcome
 
http://lazarusl.com/hello03.gif

&

http://lazarusl.com/sc4welcome.jpg

Just Me,
Tim

foxflame88 07-20-2009 11:05 PM

Welcome to the group. I hope you find the people here as helpful, inviting, and inspiring as I have.

vandalin 07-21-2009 05:40 AM

Welcome!


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