Polyamory.com Forum

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-   -   ♥Bi-Wife seeking Lady for Triad♥ (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=49473)

Ramina 07-03-2013 06:43 PM

♥Bi-Wife seeking Lady for Triad♥
Hihi ;)

My wife's tasked me with this quest to find us a bisexual woman for a triad. We've 2 wonderful children, so we prefer someone who's nurturing, ok with kids, or a mother herself. We're not looking for a maid, but a homemaker is definitely a plus!

Other issues to get out of the way is she's newly Taoist & I'm Trutharian (Polytheist), but we're welcoming to all faiths. Politically, we're both staunch Liberals, but again we welcome all. As far as in looks, she prefers busty women, whereas I lean towards le bootay:D As far as in weight, HWP would be ideal. If you're overweight, don't be shy, because we honestly prefer voluptuous women over waifs (No offense, waifs just haven't what we're into physically). We both have & love draping hair, so that's another plus for women with long hair (extensions are fine).

Concerning personality--that's my wife's deal. I can get along with anyone as long as they're harmonious & they've some sense of humor. She favors compassion, open-mindedness, honesty, fairness, humor, devotion, affectionate, engaging, (insert typical quality that women cherish here). lol~ Only kidding... Another major plus with her is massage. If you're a masseuse, massage student, or just a huge fan of massage, that would probably trump over every other you've got to offer.

I know we've been quite specific in want we need in a woman, but the best foundation for the type relationship we're aiming toward is honesty. If you're a woman who truly & dearly believes you'd be a great fit for us, don't let our specifics stop you. We will listen.:)

As one may imagine, ideally we would love a LTR. However we're more of a "go with the flow" type, & wouldn't mind if an LTR developed from something casual or nothing at all. When my wife first asked about us in a triad, she already knew I was always vastly open-minded & had a wild past.

Yet my past also worked against our goals of a triad, because naturally I either sought out women from My past or those similar to those in my environment back then. Needless to say, the wife wasn't very comfortable with my choice in women. I learned the hard way, she prefers someone more her speed. Truthfully, I think she's just wants a second anchor to ground me. Just messin' honest!:rolleyes:

Anyways, Life's short. Although we're patient, we don't play email or text tag, nor share pictures ad nauseum. When you contact us & if we clique, we tend to move pretty fast--especially me. We're also willing to relocate the right woman to us if necessary so don't let distance deter you.

See you soon :D

nycindie 07-04-2013 08:57 PM

Oh, I don't think you'll need to worry about many women playing "email tag" with you.

Good luck with that. :rolleyes:

Ramina 07-05-2013 12:02 AM


Originally Posted by nycindie (Post 213095)
Oh, I don't think you'll need to worry about many women playing "email tag" with you.

Good luck with that. :rolleyes:

Thanks Cindie :)
We typically run into email tag with people out of state/country. We're completely willing to relocate someone to us, but we also understand uprooting oneself may be too much of a challenge for some.

I don't think we've ever encountered email/text tag on the local level. The longest it ever took for us to meet someone locally was probably 2 weeks & that lady was out of town when we answered her profile. The only issue here in Arizona is finding a LTR, which is partially our fault as the places we frequent don't quite facilitate that kind of relationship. Although we've also been in the lifestyle for years & it's tons of fun, swinging hasn't proven the best path to a lasting triad. lol~

We're optimistic we'll find that special lady for our triad soon enough. I think the key may rest in using alternative methods like this forum. Something completely different from most dating sites or lifestlye clubs. :D

nycindie 07-05-2013 01:49 AM

What "lifestyle?" This forum is for polyamory. Poly people don't use the code word "lifestyle"to refer to having multiple loving relationships. There is no one poly lifestyle. And the point of my post was that you won't need to worry about playing email tag because I highly doubt you will get many, if at all, responses to your ad. It's quite unrealistic to think you will "find that special lady for your triad soon enough." If you do a little more reading of this forum, perhaps by starting with a tag search for threads on "triads," "unicorns," and "unicorn hunters," maybe you will understand why.

Natja 07-05-2013 07:38 AM

I think what they mean Nycindie, to be fair, is swinging, they are obviously swingers and that is what they are referring to as in 'we want to find a LTR, but won't find it in the lifestyle clubs we are used to going to...'

Which I understand!

Their mistake is thinking that Polyamory is like swinging but long term rather than occasional. This is a common newbie mistake and I am pretty sure they will soon realise that Polyamory is a different kettle of fish once the Unicorns fail to appear as expected.
They wouldn't be the first couple (or single person) who posted a personal ad before spending time actually reading the forum, this personal section are full of people who have posted and then are never seen again, just as it is full of couples looking for Unicorns who never get a reply (except a snarky comment or two from forum regulars) so the OP are not unique in their ignorance and it is probably unfair to single them out.

To the OP, your personal ad is pretty objectifying and therefore is unlikely to attract anyone to you, despite you being a very handsome couple, I would sincerely suggest you edit it heavily and go and do some reading as previously suggested. This particular link will be a good place to start :) http://davidlnoble.com/so-somebody-c...nicorn-hunter/

Good Luck,

nycindie 07-05-2013 07:50 AM

Oh I know what they meant, but my point was that the term doesn't apply to poly. To come here and post using lingo that applies to swinging clearly shows a misunderstanding of where they are posting and what poly is. Furthermore, I never said they were unique - far from it - nor was I singling anyone out. I was simply responding to their particular post, as I do with other people's posts, so I hardly see giving them my feedback as unfair, or even less fair than providing them a link, as you did and others do in response to most unicorn hunters' posts like this.

Natja 07-05-2013 08:02 AM

I know you did not call them Unique, I just mean that there are plenty of posts saying the exact same thing and your advice, at least in your first post was so vague as to be unhelpful (as can be seen by the completely oblivious response to it...bless).

We all want to help, but what is the point if our help is not understood? :)

BoringGuy 07-05-2013 12:18 PM

I thought there was a new-ish rule here that people are not allowed to reply to these personal ads unless they are interested in dating the people who posted them.

Natja 07-05-2013 12:26 PM


Originally Posted by BoringGuy (Post 213189)
I thought there was a new-ish rule here that people are not allowed to reply to these personal ads unless they are interested in dating the people who posted them.

Yes, I think so, perhaps all this will be deleted then? :(

BoringGuy 07-05-2013 12:30 PM


Originally Posted by Natja (Post 213193)
Yes, I think so, perhaps all this will be deleted then? :(

Perhaps. If it has valuable content, it might be merged with one of the many many many many many discussion threads on this topic.

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