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-   -   Being in a social situation with your partner and his other partner (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=49434)

skittleskittens 07-02-2013 11:40 AM

I've decided that I'm no longer comfortable with this issue being online. I'm trying to figure out how to delete this thread however it is currently not working. I'm still within the 12 hour limit and can still edit but don't know how to delete. The delete button is coming up on all of my other posts but this one. If anyone is aware please let me know ASAP.

BlackUnicorn 07-02-2013 12:15 PM

Are you upset about their PDA because it gives you a sense of insecurity or just because you can't have the same? Are you jealous or envious?

That kind of double standard sounds rough. Have you talked about this unfair set up with them?

Marcus 07-02-2013 12:57 PM


Originally Posted by skittleskittens (Post 212826)
One of the reasons that I haven't had a major conversation with him yet is that our relationship is still relatively new while they have been together for much longer.

Don't box yourself out like that. A relationship is what it is and doesn't change in value when it's compared to some other relationship. If you want to be affectionate then tell him (your partner, unless you are dating the couple) you don't like that dumb rule anymore.

This sounds like a hierarchical set up where they are the primary couple and you are a satellite. Is that why you are taking a submissive approach to your relationship?

london 07-02-2013 02:47 PM

Yeah it should be either no PDAs or anyone can do a PDA. I wouldn't accept anything less.

YouAreHere 07-02-2013 05:12 PM

We have agreed upon "kid-friendly" PDAs when in public, even if no kids are around. That is, however, for all of us.

LovingRadiance 07-02-2013 10:51 PM

We haven't made "an agreement".
Maca requested to not see more than kid-friendly pda between GG and I, whereas it doesn't bother GG.
BUT-Maca also makes a point of going away (to another room, outside whatever) so that we have opportunities to be more than kid-friendly with one another, when there are no kids.

I happen to be pro-talk to your partner about the double standard.

Sometimes there are behaviors that aren't the same-that's ok. But it's not ok if someone isn't ok with it. So if you feel you aren't getting what you need-then it's time to say "I need xyz in our relationship".

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