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-   -   Greetings from a newbie (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=49250)

KingCobra 06-27-2013 11:20 AM

Greetings from a newbie
 
Hello there, poly people!

I'm a 26yo male from Texas who ended up in Massachusetts for work. I have a wonderful 29y/o bisexual wife who's a native Bay Stater. We've been discussing poly for about three-five months when it came to light that she and her female best friend of three years had fallen in love (and had been repressing it for 2.5 years, but I figured it out long before they did), and I surprised myself by being willing to talk about poly (I tend to get ahold of a topic and research it thoroughly) and in doing so began slowly conquering my own jealous tendencies, woo.

So at the moment I guess things are kinda like a V, lol. So now everything is out in the open, which is the best thing about poly to me. Don't get me wrong, it's not all sunshine and rainbows and I'm doing a lot of mental processing all the time, but I'm getting more and more comfortable as time goes on :)

Recently, we invited the best friend to come stay with us as she tries to get back into school for the foreseeable future and she happily accepted.

So here we are trying to figure out things as comfortably as possible for the three of us and if nothing else appreciate the emotional honesty that poly brings.

And aren't snakes adorable?

Morava 06-27-2013 02:31 PM

Jealousy isn't a bad thing, how you respond with it is. It opens more ways to communicate, which in these relationships are the most important things.

Nice to meet you.

KingCobra 06-27-2013 03:15 PM

I agree! I've tried to approach it from the perspective that I know everyone involved is deeply invested in the relationships and well being of the other two so that helps a LOT.

We had an episode recently (wont go into it) but it resulted in more open and candid communication. We're still not sure what sort of shape the family will take, we just know we have each other's backs.

Nice to meet you too.

Newbie9 06-27-2013 07:51 PM

Hi kc! Thanks for replying to my thread. Nice to meet you. I'm happy that you are enjoying honesty in your marriage, that is where i am stuck realizing there can be no progress whatsoever without it. I'm sure the new experiences you are having are tricky and are somewhat blowing your mind, but as you embark on this journey I hope you can stay grateful for the foundation of honesty you and your wife have built and go back to that place of gratefulness when things get confusing and frustrating. That's all the advice I can give since I am obviously no expert on poly relationships sitting here reading forums while my closet-poly ashamed self loathing boyfriend cleans the garage instead of talking to me about what is going on in his head. What a shame.

Ok back to reading!

kdt26417 06-27-2013 08:36 PM

Greetings KingCobra,
Welcome to our forum.

I get the impression somehow that you are a snake lover? :)

It's great that you have been so open-minded about trying poly on for size, and learning how to make it work. Hopefully Polyamory.com will be a helpful resource to you in that area.

Any thoughts of seeking additional partners for yourself? (Just curious.)

Glad to have you aboard.
Sincerely,
Kevin T.

KingCobra 06-27-2013 10:11 PM

Hey Kevin!

Yes I love snakes, specifically my 13yo baby (not pictured, lol)

This site and morethantwo.com have kinda become my go to resource if I feel i have an issue. I'm blessed with a wife and potentialish meta/paramour (we're not really sure WHAT the dynamic will be, they're not officially together yet) who want me to be included and not left out, and I'm encouraging them to not hold back just because I'm not as close to the bff.

Really we're just trying to figure things for the three of us atm (a triad of sorts is what everyone would prefer, but I'm trying to keep realistic and work only with the known quantity with would be a V) and if it stays a V they both are encouraging me to seek my own partner. So all in all it's stressful because it's new but encouraging because they're understanding.

JaneQSmythe 06-29-2013 02:35 AM

Hello and Welcome! I hope you find these boards as useful (and entertaining) as I have.

Quote:

Originally Posted by KingCobra (Post 212210)
And aren't snakes adorable?

Yes!

Quote:

Originally Posted by KingCobra (Post 212307)
Yes I love snakes, specifically my 13yo baby (not pictured, lol)

My own "Pretty Girl" is a Brazilian Rainbow Boa and probably about 7yo (full grown at 6+ feet) that I have had for 2 years. She is absolutely gorgeous after a shed and feels like silk - and such a sweetheart. We fed her last night and today she is fat, lumpy, and happy!

(My first snake, 22 years ago, was a captive-bred corn-snake with a lovely personality - re-homed in college with a friend due to a housing situation and, unfortunately, escaped; 2nd was a very timid pet store baby ball python who was killed by a "less-stunned-than-thought" mouse during his transition from fresh/stunned to frozen/thawed - :( I swore off snakes/reptiles for 20 years until PG needed a home...and she is just what I needed too!)

TMI? sorry.

Jane("F/T-from-birth/hatch-camp")Q


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