Polyamory.com Forum

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-   -   Just sayin' hello... (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=49248)

Poe333 06-27-2013 09:30 AM

Just sayin' hello...
 
Hey everyone! I'm new to forums in general, but we're desperately seeking like-minded souls...I'm a 28yr. old F, my hubby is 41, we haven't actually "been" polyamorous yet, and are actively looking for relationships...BUT...we live in the country, outside of a small town, which is outside of a small city, filled w/ small minded-people..Needless to say..it's hard, but we'll see,...Hoping to be surrounded by kindred souls someday :)

Morava 06-27-2013 02:30 PM

I feel ya. We are also from a small town and just found our soulmates. It was hard meeting people, had to do a dating website. We used OK Cupid and found another couple on the edge considering and he was ready where she was on the fence. My husband and her fell head over heals but he stated he was only looking for friends and I respect monogamy, so I never acted on my attraction towards him.

It clicked when they met. Never expected of all the couples I talked to, they would be the ones we would end up with...

kdt26417 06-27-2013 07:50 PM

Hi Poe333,
Welcome to our forum.

Heh, if only you could move to Seattle, then I think you'd be surrounded by progressive-minded people. But I think it's expensive to live in the city, so what can you do.

If nothing else, you will have an online source of understanding souls in this website. Have a look around at our various threads and boards, and post as the muse may strike you.

It's good to have you with us.
Sincerely,
Kevin T.

nycindie 06-27-2013 08:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Morava (Post 212241)
I feel ya. We are also from a small town and just found our soulmates. It was hard meeting people, had to do a dating website. We used OK Cupid and found another couple on the edge considering and he was ready where she was on the fence. My husband and her fell head over heals but he stated he was only looking for friends and I respect monogamy, so I never acted on my attraction towards him.

It clicked when they met. Never expected of all the couples I talked to, they would be the ones we would end up with...

You make it sound like you're stuck with being in a quad where you don't get any yum-yum. So, just because the husband in that couple only wants to be friends, why can't you pursue another guy for yourself? :confused:

Morava 06-27-2013 10:24 PM

On the contrary...he wanted poly but didnt approach me as such because he and his wife had previous issues and she didnt think she was ready. So I was talking with another guy when they admitted they wanted more and I really liked him so I would have found someone eventually but would have waited for my legal husband to be ready. Since I liked him more than the other guy I was ecstatic.

Morava 06-27-2013 10:26 PM

And Kevin, we lived on Olympia for a bit, its a bit steep there too.

nycindie 06-28-2013 08:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Morava (Post 212309)
On the contrary...he wanted poly but didnt approach me as such because he and his wife had previous issues and she didnt think she was ready. So I was talking with another guy when they admitted they wanted more and I really liked him so I would have found someone eventually but would have waited for my legal husband to be ready. Since I liked him more than the other guy I was ecstatic.

Oh, this is confusing -- in your other post you said you "never acted on your attraction" to the husband in that other couple out of respect for his being monogamous. I assumed that to mean that you and he never hooked up, though your husband got involved with his wife. And when you wrote that you never expected them to be the people you'd "wind up with," it sounded like you were resigned to a situation where your husband was having fun with the wife and you were left out, especially since you didn't mention whether or not you are involved with the wife or not.

So I guess I misread it all - you are in a quad and romantically/sexually in a relationship with Other Hubby (as well as with your own Hubby), correct? The other guy is not monogamous after all? And your Hubby wasn't ready for poly, but fell in love with the Other Wife right away?

Morava 06-28-2013 02:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nycindie (Post 212358)
Oh, this is confusing -- in your other post you said you "never acted on your attraction" to the husband in that other couple out of respect for his being monogamous. I assumed that to mean that you and he never hooked up, though your husband got involved with his wife. And when you wrote that you never expected them to be the people you'd "wind up with," it sounded like you were resigned to a situation where your husband was having fun with the wife and you were left out, especially since you didn't mention whether or not you are involved with the wife or not.

So I guess I misread it all - you are in a quad and romantically/sexually in a relationship with Other Hubby (as well as with your own Hubby), correct? The other guy is not monogamous after all? And your Hubby wasn't ready for poly, but fell in love with the Other Wife right away?

I didn't act...until I knew it was ok, basically.

Poe333 06-29-2013 09:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kdt26417 (Post 212290)
Hi Poe333,
Welcome to our forum.

Heh, if only you could move to Seattle, then I think you'd be surrounded by progressive-minded people. But I think it's expensive to live in the city, so what can you do.

If nothing else, you will have an online source of understanding souls in this website. Have a look around at our various threads and boards, and post as the muse may strike you.

It's good to have you with us.
Sincerely,
Kevin T.

THANKS...and ya, Seattle is expensive,..I lived in Portland when I was younger, but have always liked small towns more (some more so than others ;) plus w/ all the animals we have, we pretty much have to live in the country, so, yay! for internet...:)

kdt26417 06-29-2013 06:23 PM

:D


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