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-   -   M/m + m (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=4922)

Tonmar01 01-10-2011 04:26 PM

M/m + m
Hi everyone, just joined this site today, so apologies if this has been posted before as not had a chance to scan all the posts yet.

We are a gay male couple in our 40's and have been together for 20 years now and in a Civil Partnership for the last 5 of those.

We have always enjoyed 3somes and moresomes and love the extra fun that can be had with another person.

We have spoken in the past about having a 3rd person in our relationship and how would we find them etc etc all the usual things, but never really done anything about it.

We have a friend (25yo gay male) who we've known for about a year now, Speak every day either on the phone or online and we are all very fond of each other. He was due to visit and stay with us over the Chritmas and NY period but due to family things going on it didnt happen. But because of the family things he is now looking to move away. he lives in Bournemouth and we are in South Wales.

We have discussed a 3way relationship with him and we have all agreed that we are keen on it and said that maybe this is something we could explore in a couple of years time. But because of his family problems this has been accelerated and we have offered him a place in our home. He has handed his notice in at work, given notice on his flat and is busy packing up his stuff ready to move to ours in the next few weeks. We are all excited about this and cant wait to start our new lifes together.

We have a spare room in the house which will be 'his', but we know that the majority of the time he will be in our bed, but that means it will give him or one of us the opportunity to have our own space if needed.

Have seen a few threads on here and recently saw a progamme on TV but all the poly relationships have been with M/F/F or M/F/M.

So was just curious if there is anyone on this site or know of any M/M/M relationships.

Not sure if we are looking for advice, support, backing or what on here, but would welcome any comments from other members,


M&T(&D) xx

NeonKaos 01-10-2011 04:36 PM

Yes, recently a member of a 3-male triad joined (RfromRMC). Also, search for posts by a gentleman who goes by the username "River". If you PM him, he'll probably get an email about it and show up.

RfromRMC 01-10-2011 07:06 PM

I'll be happy to answer any questions the best I can.
Do note that our triad started a bit differently...we really didn't have a long-term couple plus one scenerio, like you're doing. It was more of a guy (M) dating two guys (R and C) off and on simultaneously and then bringing everyone together as a group. (We've now been together just over two years.)
Nonetheless, I totally understand what you mean about seeing lots of info about MMF or MFF triads, but not much about MMM triads.

If you have any specific questions, let me know. In the meantime, I highly recommend this article "Tips for Triads": http://sexgeek.wordpress.com/2010/03...ks-for-triads/ It has helped me in many many ways to navigate this experience. :cool:

Tonmar01 01-10-2011 07:20 PM

Many thanks for your reply, Will have a looks at the link now.



redpepper 01-10-2011 08:12 PM

welcome to the forum. I know you are looking for specific people to understand your situation, but just so you know, I doubt that there will be huge differences in terms of relationship dynamic. The foundation of poly relationship dynamics is bound to be the same, if not at least similar... of course I could be full of shit and so be it... all I'm saying is that we would love to hear your story and are willing to help, share and here your thoughts as well in terms of other peoples situations. If you are up to it that is.

RfromRMC 01-10-2011 08:33 PM


Originally Posted by Tonmar01 (Post 59610)
Many thanks for your reply, Will have a looks at the link now.



Sounds good.

I did re-read your thread and one thing does come to mind. You mention you're prepared to have him move in. But have you first actually had dates with him?

Not just as a friend, but you know...romantic dinner dates, that kinda stuff. Make sure it's actually love and not just lust, you know! That would be my main recommendation so far. Gotta make sure everyone's falling in love with each other....or at least starting that process.

Also, I'm not just talking about dating all three of you together....pair him up with each of the two of you on one-on-one dates. To this day, the biggest weakness in our triad is that I haven't spent nearly as much quality time with C as I have with M...and I am still trying to put effort into that connection. As the article I mentioned says in one paragraph "Invest in every pair". Definitely a spot-on piece of advice there. :)

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