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-   -   Intresting.... (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=48700)

AZtriad 06-12-2013 05:37 PM

Intresting....
 
So last night our gf was messing around with my husband and talking about getting another boyfriend. it really bugged him. me and him have had this talk before. he is not comfortable with either of us having a bf. for me its ok. I actually have no desire to have a bf. I actually kinda have a desire to have a gf and he is ok with that. so last night on our way home from her house she tells him she wants to talk to him. uh oh. that's a scary thing. who knows what she is gonna say. she says its nothing bad but she does have some questions. im soo curious as to what these questions are.

so again this morning me and him talked again and he tells me he would not be comfortable with either of us having a gf and he would be jealous. I told him feeling jealous? it makes me sad and glad at the same time that he would feel this. sad because of course I don't want him to feel like that. but at the same time im kinda glad he is feeling it. because I explained to him that this is how I feel. so maybe he will understand how im feeling and we can better cope with it.

So last night we had a bit of a argument and I explained to him sometimes I just want him to hold me and kiss me. I know he loves me very much and would never leave me. I just need him to show me. so in the middle of the night I woke up to him holding me very tight. and omg it felt sooo good. I just cant explain how good it felt. maybe he is finally getting it? I really hope so.

There are only good things to come. we might have our ups and downs but every relationship does no matter how many people are in it. We just need to learn from it and move on.

hope everyone has a good week!!!

Malfunktions 06-12-2013 06:55 PM

Communication
 
Crux and I have been going through the some of the same lately. IMO, you can't move forward without communication. Even if I'm to the "I don't want to talk about it anymore" part Crux pursues for resolution. That works for US where it may not work for you. :)

Flowerchild 06-25-2013 02:21 AM

You feel the same way? Are you jealous of.his relationship with the girlfriend? I.notice you call.her a girlfriend and not a partner. Are you and he ensuring ALL her needs are met? Especially since you're denying her others. Does she have equal standing in the relationship?

london 06-25-2013 06:10 AM

So your husbands had two girlfriends and you can share his, but neither if you are allowed to have your own relationship with anyone else because he is so insecure. I happen to believe that the majority of being poly is accepting your partners loving other people. When you can't do this and seek to control how much they love other people and who they love, you stay to move away from what polyamory is. Or at least what good poly is about.

If ask your husband how he could feel more secure in a polyamorous relationship, I'd help him in any way I could and then I'd go and find other lovers. He would have to learn to deal with it our leave but I certainly wouldn't let his petty issues get in my way.

Natja 06-25-2013 07:43 AM

This relationship is not a triad any more but a vee. We never hear the gf pov and so we don't know if the OPP bothers her or not and the OP is grieving from the loss of her relationship, perhaps it is not the best time to challenge her about an issue that is not exactly her business anymore.

london 06-25-2013 08:54 AM

Why do you think it isn't a triad? She said "our girlfriend".

Natja 06-25-2013 11:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by london (Post 211679)
Why do you think it isn't a triad? She said "our girlfriend".

I don't 'think' she isn't in a triad, I know she is no longer in a triad, she has posted elsewhere on this forum that she and the girlfriend have broken up, but you may not have noticed as she has done it under a different username.

This is her latest thread
http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=49127

So reviving this thread might just add a bit of salt to the wound.

london 06-25-2013 01:11 PM

Oh, firstly, I didn't realise this was an old thread and with the username change, I'd have never got that. So all in all, my bad.

Moose67 07-01-2013 03:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by london (Post 211668)
So your husbands had two girlfriends and you can share his, but neither if you are allowed to have your own relationship with anyone else because he is so insecure. I happen to believe that the majority of being poly is accepting your partners loving other people. When you can't do this and seek to control how much they love other people and who they love, you stay to move away from what polyamory is. Or at least what good poly is about.

If ask your husband how he could feel more secure in a polyamorous relationship, I'd help him in any way I could and then I'd go and find other lovers. He would have to learn to deal with it our leave but I certainly wouldn't let his petty issues get in my way.

London: Excellent response! Sounds like Mr. Big shot wants to have his cake and eat it too!

Doesn't sound like Poly to me. Sounds like his mini- harem


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