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-   -   "Hold Me Tight"-Love demands the reassurance of touch...... (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=4780)

LovingRadiance 01-07-2011 10:36 PM

"Hold Me Tight"-Love demands the reassurance of touch......
 
Ok, I did say I was on a roll, any takers?
I think that this article makes perfect sense.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/artic.../hold-me-tight

Just considering how often we want one thing, but we say another in relationships.

Actually reading this part:

"Passion is like everything else: It ebbs and flows. But sex is always going to be boring if it's one-dimensional, cut off from emotional connection. On the other hand, if you're emotionally involved, sex has a hundred dimensions to it, and is as much play as passion.

I call this kind of secure sex "synchrony sex," where emotional openness and responsiveness, tender touch, and erotic exploration all come together. When partners have a secure emotional connection, physical intimacy can retain all of its initial ardor and creativity and then some. Lovers can be tender and playful one moment, fiery and erotic another. Securely attached partners can more openly express their needs and preferences and are more willing to experiment sexually with their lovers.

In a secure relationship, excitement comes not from trying to resurrect the novel moments of infatuated passion but from the risk involved in staying open in the moment-to-moment, here-and-now experience of physical and emotional connection. With this openness comes the sense that lovemaking with your partner is always a new adventure."


Made me think of Mono's descriptions of his relationship with RP. ;)

MonoVCPHG 01-07-2011 10:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LovingRadiance (Post 58916)

Made me think of Mono's descriptions of his relationship with RP. ;)

Me too! The only expansion to this would be the bar that "connected" sex has set for me; anything else I can do with my hand ;)

No one has anything purely sexual to offer me that is worth walking across the road for if I don't have that connection.....for Redpepper I would walk until my legs fail me :)

LovingRadiance 01-07-2011 11:00 PM

Mon, you're so cool. ;)

Happy 2 Yr Anniversary by the way. I know it was earlier this week sometime. :)

MonoVCPHG 01-07-2011 11:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LovingRadiance (Post 58922)
Mon, you're so cool. ;)

Happy 2 Yr Anniversary by the way. I know it was earlier this week sometime. :)

Thanks LR :) We had a great supper and date with a fireplace later next week...who would have thought we'd make it this far:D

Somegeezer 01-07-2011 11:08 PM

I'm going to have to keep up with your posts here. =P I'm still only about to read the monkey style one in the previous thread. XD *holds onto this one for later*

SNeacail 01-07-2011 11:36 PM

I can't read these fast enough. Good thing there's not much going on here at work today :p. My favorite so far has to be this one. This one really hits home, sending the link to my husband.

LovingRadiance 01-07-2011 11:40 PM

I read (and type) fast.
But admittedly-I have saved a BUNCH of the links that I've found interesting to my computer (and the link page of my blog) so if you find yourself thinking

OMG-this has to wait til tomorrow,
feel free to hit the link page on my blog. I put the ones I liked under the heading "relationships".
;)

They are intriguing, but in a short period of time here I'm going to have to go do other stuff, so they will stop for the night!

:D

Somegeezer 01-07-2011 11:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LovingRadiance (Post 58935)
I read (and type) fast.
But admittedly-I have saved a BUNCH of the links that I've found interesting to my computer (and the link page of my blog) so if you find yourself thinking

OMG-this has to wait til tomorrow,
feel free to hit the link page on my blog. I put the ones I liked under the heading "relationships".
;)

They are intriguing, but in a short period of time here I'm going to have to go do other stuff, so they will stop for the night!

:D

It will give me time to read them at least. =P I read quite slowly, because talking to a lot of other people distracts me. But I am saving them as I go as reference later.

Confused 01-11-2011 09:33 PM

I love this article. I've often struggled to explain to other people how my marriage can be much more exciting now than it ever was in the beginning and yet safe and warm and comfortable all at once. All the things she talks about how to improve your marriage were things we discovered in the last few years from other books. I may need to go and buy hers though just to see what else she has to say.


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