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-   -   confusing new relationship... (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=46883)

juniper 05-13-2013 02:17 PM

confusing new relationship...
We opened up our relationship a few months ago. I am now with a woman who is a dear friend and my male primary partner is good about my relationship to her. In the beginning she talked about having a secondary then it turned into wanting a girlfriend. Pretty soon after we started dating she talked about how we are friends with benefits. I am having a really hard time with her not wanting to label what we are because I don't understand my role and expectations and it is hard to convey to my primary partner what we are doing. Since I am new to all of this, I was under the assumption that when you are with another person, you are very open and honest about what it is that you are to each other or what you need when you enter a non traditional relationship. When I talk to her about it, it just becomes this confusing vague conversation. She talks often about how "women like me" are always wanting to label relationships. I am straight up about asking questions and am just not getting any answers. Is she playing games with me or is she just bad at communicating? .:confused:

nancyfore 05-14-2013 03:52 AM

Can you stop any type of moving forward until you have a long talk with her?

What exactly is a "woman like you"? it sounds condescending... No one can tell you if she is playing games or bad at communicating. You need to find a way to communicate or tell her that your not understanding what she is talking about. There is nothing wrong with telling her "I understand the words that your saying" but "they don't make sense to me, please help me understand"....

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