New to the Forum: I'm in a big poly family - could use some advice
So, hi everyone, my name is Jess. I'm a 26 year old woman who is married to another woman (we'll refer to her as C).. we recently got married (in November!) and then shortly after we married we fell in love with another couple. The other couple consists of a woman (we'll call her H) who recently discovered that she was gay after being married to her husband for 10 years and having four children. So us, a lesbian couple and a "bi/hetero" couple with four kids.
We met .. and clicked.. and it very quickly became romantic. We originally thought it would just be a sexual relationship between myself, my wife, and H, but we embraced our relationship with the husband (we'll call him T). We love their family, the children are amazing and love having my wife and I around. We do dinners, and game nights, and small holidays together. We all sort of fill in what our original partners can not. I am emotional and silly, my wife balances me by being the responsible one who rarely gets emotional. H is the emotional silly one out of her marriage, and T is the responsible less emotional one. We are balanced by our original partners, yet we have found similar souls with H and T.
I really wish I could explain how we fell into this.. it just sort of happened. One day we all sort of looked at each other and couldn't imagine our lives apart.
We love each other so much... but that isn't to say there are issues.
H and I are extremely close and passionate (as we're practically the same person and offer each other a very emotional relationship). Our partners are busy with work and supporting us (separately, we don't share a house or an income). H just had their fourth child.. so we met during her pregnancy and now have an beautiful infant among us. And things have been stressful, which makes sense.. a pregnancy.. a baby.. nerves.. everyone finding their place.
I feel like T feels left out because his wife has recently discovered that she is more attracted to women than she is men.. I think C feels left out because I have found my emotional counterpart and H and I are so close...
I am feeling the strain of being in love with someone who is being pulled in multiple directions. H is the mother of four, a wife, a girlfriend to myself and C, and she works.
Our relationship is unbalanced because they have children, we've fit ourselves into their lives because we have less holding us down. Our lives now revolve around their family .. and less around our younger friends without kids.
I love our family, I love this life... but I crave for there to be a balance.. and quite frankly, to have what I want without having, to worry about being dictated by H's children and husband.
Realistically, the longevity of this scenario is .. slim. But we want to do what it takes to make it work. To have two families that meld. But I have to admit, it's hard not to be selfish. I often wish I could steal H away and have time alone without having to worry about making her husband jealous.. (which he isn't really.. but with the baby here he's been pushed to the side). Or without making my wife jealous.. (she isn't really either.. but with her work schedule i am often left to spend lots of time with H)
I feel sort of alone out here. I know people have poly relationships.. but blended poly families?! Crazy.. anyone else in a poly family?
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