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-   -   Hmmmm what do I say? (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=4496)

plusamemus 12-19-2010 04:44 AM

Hmmmm what do I say?
I'm a female poly in an open/poly marriage with a poly man, my fairly new secondary is a mono and new to any sort of poly relationship. Being as I've never really done a full primary/secondary type of thing, only more casual/threesome/etc. type things, my main questions/concerns lay with how to split time, holidays, dates, etc. and how to make sure that I don't neglect either my primary or my secondary.

Nice to meet everyone and I look forward to enlightenment, growth, and meeting wonderful people!!!


Somegeezer 12-19-2010 02:10 PM

Welcome to the forum. Sorry, I can't help you with time management though. Not something I have experience with. I know some people plan everything out on a calander though. I'm sure someone will be of more help to you though. =P If you ever need someone to talk with one to one about anything at all, feel free to send a PM my way though. =]

River 12-19-2010 08:23 PM


Is your "primary" comfortable and friendly with your "secondary"? This makes a heap of difference, as if you all enjoy each other's company you can all hang out on special occasions such as birthdays, hollidays....

eklctc 12-25-2010 01:11 AM

Welcome to the forum. It's really all up to you and your partners. I'm sure you understand open and clear communication is very important in helping you decide these matters. To find out what works for each partner, no better way is available then asking them. Sit down with your primary and determine his feelings and ideas about scheduling. Then sit with your secondary and inquiry about his, keeping your convo with your primary nearby (mentally) to determine any overlap. Then you can start arranging a schedule that can satisfy everyone.

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