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-   -   Jealousy and mistrust (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=44904)

squee 04-16-2013 10:55 PM

Jealousy and mistrust
 
Hello ,
I am quite new to these forums but I've had a few questions and hope y'all can give some advice. My boyfriends is new to a poly relationship and so am I to be honest. I have been in several open relationships but I have never loved the other person. We have been together for about a year or so and originally he wanted to be monogamous.
We became open when my boyfriend got drunk at a party and made out with another woman while I was grieving and had a wake to attend the next day. To be fair I told him to go the party and have a good time. The trouble I run into is we were monogamous at the time. Now I have deep feelings of mistrust and jealousy. I adore the other woman and we have gotten quite close but I still feel the green eyed monster pop up.
We have talked about it extensively and I'm ok when we talk but then I have the jealousy pop up later. I guess I'm looking for advice on how to deal with this. I despise these feelings that I am having, I feel like a crazy person sometimes. Has anyone ever dealt with something similar? Do these feelings go away?

Thanks in advance,
Kiwi

nancyfore 04-17-2013 04:02 AM

Sorry to hear that you started out "poly" as a "cheating" episode...

You probably aren't ever going to get rid of these feelings with this particular woman, because the relationship started out as cheating...

Reading threads and articles on jealousy might help, also journaling might help too.

You have every right to mistrust him and be jealous and everyone takes their own time to heal and work through their feelings.

Nancy


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