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-   -   Dating sites - besides OKC... (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=4458)

Andy4700 12-14-2010 09:08 PM

Dating sites - besides OKC...
I've been on OKC now for quite a while and have had zero luck meeting anyone poly. 99% of the women on there seem to be looking for traditional relationships. :/ I met an awesome new friend on there, but thats about it.

Anyone know of any sites more geared toward poly or open relationships?

Its getting depressing to not know where to look. :( Seems like there has to be someone for me out there.... its just finding her..... grrr

TL4everu2 12-14-2010 09:24 PM

Andy, There are a few....but so far, OKC is the only site which is really "poly friendly", as well as highly used. I didn't like it either, personally. My wife and I have wanted to develop a site such as the one you are describing....but are currently too internet stupid to do it. :(

Andy4700 12-14-2010 09:41 PM

I saw one pay site for poly people, but I am guessing there are no members..... I don't like paying for such things anyway....

I had 2 "almost maybe turned into somethings" from a post I had on Craigslist once, but that streak of luck seems to have ended.

OKC seems awesome for the single person wanting a traditional mono relationship.... I am just not finding many girls to message that seem open to poly or the fact that I am married. :(

I would be all for a FREE poly dating site.

TL4everu2 12-14-2010 09:57 PM

Trust me, I can relate. We got lucky. We met the woman we are currently dating, on OKC. Oddly enough, she said she thought she had deleted her profile from there months before I contacted her. Then, out of nowhere, I send her an e-mail. :eek: She said she thought it was weird. Then, within like 3 days, she actually DID delete her account from there. I kept mine on for a few weeks more. Then, my wife and I decided that V was the one....and I deleted my account too. I have not had any luck on Craigslist at all....other than people wanting NSA sex. (Not what I'm looking for)

My wife, on the other hand, had guys trying to date her left and right. :rolleyes: Geee....I wonder why? Then, she actually dated one...he got what he wanted, after like 3 weeks and more than a few dates, and was gone. Typical freaking scumbag. He made my wife happy for the time they were dating though, so I was supportive. I voiced my concerns, and what I saw. My wife wouldn't believe me....soooo...yeah.

Anyway, it has been my experience that on OKC, guys are USUALLY simply looking to hook up, while women are USUALLY looking for mono relationships. :rolleyes: There are a few exceptions....but...it would certainly be easier to have a site dedicated to just poly people.

The problem? Guys would use it to try to simply hook up with random women and have sex.....because, afterall, "poly women are all nympho's who cant get enough sex"....right? :rolleyes:

nycindie 12-14-2010 10:30 PM

What about Lavalife? That's free, and you have three different profiles, one for serious LTR, one for casual short term, and one for sex only. Plus I think they have some chat rooms, if I recall. It's a huge site, so maybe because of the sheer numbers, and the different categorizations, there might be more chance of meeting poly-friendly folk.

Oh, and BTW, I'm interested in seeing if poly works for me, and joined OKC to meet poly men, but I don't mention the words poly or polyamorous in my OKC profile. Women do have to be more cautious. There may be a chick on OKC for you, but it's just harder to find them.

Ariakas 12-14-2010 10:44 PM

okc is the best. Its 100% regional for how useful it is. i live in a strong poly area, so matches are easy to find. Other regions might not be as good.

There is a polyscentric dating site. I disliked it. Anyone who I would have been curious about wasn't "active" anyone who was no where near my type was. Can't remember the site of course...I found it beyond useless.

have you tried local poly meetups etc? Munches etc. Online might not be the answer in this situation.

Andy4700 12-14-2010 10:50 PM

I have not tried Lavalife. I will take a peek.

Yes.... I always wonder if there is some woman on OKC that isn't familiar with Poly, but would actually like what I am wanting.... :/ The situation I seek is kinda fluid.. and I can't help be think maybe there is a girl around here that isn't wanting a regular relationship, but would enjoy having someone stable for a longterm-ish casual relationship.... But how do I find her? Grrrr It sucks....

Andy4700 12-14-2010 10:53 PM


Originally Posted by Ariakas (Post 55777)
have you tried local poly meetups etc? Munches etc. Online might not be the answer in this situation.

No... Still seeking those too.... I was hoping that if I could meet some localish poly folks even just as friends.... they may know if there even is anything around here.

Ariakas 12-14-2010 11:17 PM


Originally Posted by Andy4700 (Post 55787)
No... Still seeking those too.... I was hoping that if I could meet some localish poly folks even just as friends.... they may know if there even is anything around here.

You might have to do some googling. :)

The percentage of "matches" that occur for monogamous people on dating sites is a very low number. Add the complication of non-monogamy and you will see there is a vast challenge. Meeting people locally, first, will always work out better imo. Unless you live in a hot bed of poly that is.

I assume you have joined this group


to see if there are other alternatives for you in your area.

sometimes, unless you want to do long distance, online is not the best place to find people :)

Malach 12-14-2010 11:51 PM

I met someone on OKC, after being on there for months. Comparing our experiences on the site, she would get messages all the time, I had trouble getting anyone to reply to mine. Fairly typical male/female experience difference that's been talked about here, before. I finally deleted my OKC account in frustration, recently. Still good friends with the woman, although the dating part of our relationship ended...long story. So it wasn't a total waste of time for me, but one good result in 10 months is a lot of work for little return.

There's also PolyMatchMaker, for a poly-specific dating site, but the pool of active members seems small. http://www.polymatchmaker.com

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