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-   -   I don't like that I can't relax. (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=44550)

sour 04-11-2013 06:11 PM

I don't like that I can't relax.
1. This situation makes me miss my ex. I feel like I could relax more around new partners because I could rely on the love from my boyfriend. And now he's gone so now I can't. And that makes me feel pathetic.
2. So there's this guy that I've been spending time with (Jess) and he's cute and funny and we seem to get along well. I like him. He's been super busy with work (2 jobs) and I haven't had much time to see him or even talk to him. It's not rare to go a day or two without a single text message. It's so hard for me to read him emotionally. I know he's interested in something at least very casual (since that's what we're doing), but I'd definitely be interested in something a little more serious. I just feel like such a silly stereotypical girl. I'm so good at just going with the flow and often being the more casual partner. But I don't feel like this is the case. I don't like feeling that he has the upper hand. I don't like feeling vulnerable. I usually try to be so honest and blunt but I feel like if I lay all this out for him (which usually I'd do since I don't like games) that hell even more quickly lose interest.

Part of me wishes that I didn't even mention my relationship. I feel like it gave him the wrong image of what I'm looking for. :/

Nox 04-11-2013 06:46 PM

Just a quick note.

Some people don't like to communicate. The biggest stress my wife and I ever had was when she was on a two week trip. If I didn't call her, we would not have talked. I'd text her and MAYBE get one or two word responses.

It had nothing to do with her loving me or not loving me; she just doesn't feel the need to communicate. T has a lover that is the same way, where he'll go days without talking to her.

I have a tough time going a few hours.

People are different, and if you need that kind of interaction, it's going to be really hard.

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