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zen 12-01-2010 03:51 PM

Wider horizons
Hi, I'm in NE Ohio. My husband and I have been married for 5 years and we have been dating another couple for about 8 months now. We'd known them for years before we ever thought of hooking up, but there's been a long history of flirting, most especially between me and my boyfriend. My husband says that he decided that I was going to cheat on him no matter what, so he thought he ought to just give it his blessing and get some side action out of it. I think he's full of crap. :)

He did have a really hard time of it in the beginning -- his expectations were a little different and he's been sort of along for the ride and dealing with all the things that came up for him on his own. I say he abandoned me, he says I abandoned him... We've gotten past it.

So, we're all in love now and commute almost every weekend to one house or the other (they're 2 hours away). We've hit what I think is a pretty stable place for right now -- not ideal, but a manageable place where we can kind of regroup and figure out what this thing is going to look like in the future.

But I really could use some kind of a community to bounce thoughts off of. Poly friends, I guess. I want to live an authentic life, whatever that means. The wife doesn't want her friends or family to know anything, even though many of her friends probably already do. My family and my couple of good friends know, and they're supportive but don't really understand the lifestyle. My husband doesn't like to tell anyone anything about his personal life, although he's not terrified of things getting out -- he's waiting to see what happens. And Boyfriend just wants everybody to be happy and doesn't really care what that looks like.

So that's where the quad's at :)

Personally, I'm perpetually the odd woman out. Probably by choice. I'm the only introvert of the group. They play games -- I go read or hit the treadmill (usually both at the same time). I'm the vegan. I have "too many" cats and tell everyone that I got my tubes tied so they'd stop asking, y'know, about when I'd start breeding. I take things too seriously and my sense of humor is too wicked. I had a spiritual awakening, which could probably be clinically diagnosed as a manic episode, a couple years ago, which put me on a personal development kick. I'm obsessed with enlightenment. I struggle not to struggle. And I need to get back to work!

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