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moonlitwish 03-29-2013 09:21 PM

Lurking got boring
 
The people: C-me 28 f living with B and our furbabies & 1 roommate: A 30 f B-my fiancee 25 f swears she's monogamous J-30 m married to L, former lover turned best friend long before either of us met B or L L-22 f in a half open , marriage with J The Place: *B & I live in South Carolina, J & L live in Florida~approx 6 hrs drive The Circumstance: B & I are set to marry this July. *J and L married 4 years ago and have always had a half open marriage-open for L to other women for 'play'. *And apparenly L decided when she met B and me that she wanted to play with us. *J and I had grown a little apart over the years after he moved to Florida, *so I was not privy to their arrangement and didn't know L at all but after the birth of their daughter, J and L started making trips north to see J's family and friends here and even started dicussing moving here. *over the course of these trips we got to know L and really like her and J and B and I became closer again. Over breakfast one morning, it came out that J would not mind if all us ladies ended up in bed together. *I had fantasies about this through the years, but never mentioned anything figuring I'd be the only one interested. *B made it very clear in our early relationship that she did not share her partners. Ever. *Until she met L. Her attraction to L has totally shattered B's world view and she's having a rough time adjusting her point of view. *Now I'm having trouble adjusting to B's sudden changes and am not used to not being the hinge. *Oh the irony! *L decided that she trusted me and B enough that sleeping with J was not a threat to their marriage however, B and J have found that they don't wish to go there so remain more than friends but not quite lovers. *J and I on the otherhand are rekindling our old flame and admitted a year before we all got involved this way that the feelings we had for one another *never really went away. In the meantime we have been making all the trips back and forth that we can afford since our first hookup in December. *B is going south for a work thing and wanted to pick up L so they could spend time together. B and I would love to take our little group into a more serious set of relationships (future goal-still a little early) and although I believe J would be on board, none of us really know how L feels about it. *She did let us know when she started considering having a steady gf that B and I would always be her lovers, but that's as much as we can get out of her on the topic. *At least we know we are more than a conquest to her, but quite how much more, we cannot guess. B and I have only told 3 people about our involvement with L & J. *2 of them think we're crazy, although A (roommate) has been helpful in reassuring B that having feelings for L is normal and it's how she acts on them that counts.

This was supposed to be short and sweet, but at least my thoughts are now organized!

kdt26417 03-30-2013 08:07 PM

Hello C,
Welcome to our forum.

It sounds like things are in the very early stages for you, B, J, and L, and you will need to do quite a bit more communicating (the four of you together, whenever possible), before deciding what kind of a relationship you want with each other and how to handle things.

Polyamory.com will probably be a helpful resource for you; check out our various threads, and post any thoughts or questions you may have. A lot of support and collective wisdom here.

It's great to have you onboard.
Sincerely,
Kevin T.


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