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-   -   This could be fun.... need question ideas (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=4370)

whatamIdoing 11-29-2010 06:26 PM

This could be fun.... need question ideas
 
Hey all...

I am carrying on with my new fella via email. it's HARD to keep him engaged sometimes so we are going to play the question "game"

I'm up for any suggestions as to good questions to ask...

both sexy and NON Sexy (I actually need more help with THOSE)


Thanks in advance

Ariakas 11-29-2010 07:15 PM

:rolleyes: Well..considering we don't know what you know, its going to be very difficult to figure out what you need to ask. The best way to build questions is take what you know, and figure out what you are really interested in

If he played football/baseball/cricket/rugby - what team, where, why,what position
If he likes to read - what kind of books, how often
If he likes to game - board, rpg, everything. Is he a GM/DM, what kind of gaming sessions does he like, his longest, his shortest

etc..etc..etc...

I don't really have any suggestions beyond taking what you know, finding something thats interests YOU about HIM and asking questions about it.

whatamIdoing 11-29-2010 07:18 PM

oh I barely know ANYTHING about him..

except EVERY QUESTION YOU ASKED... LOL

he hates sports (all sports)
he's a gamer both online and board games (that's how I met him board gaming)


I know a little about his family... and his job...

he told me to ask ANYTHING... I'm trying to get us engaged in more back and forth... he tends to back off and disappear on me...

Ariakas 11-29-2010 07:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by whatamIdoing (Post 54342)
oh I barely know ANYTHING about him..

except EVERY QUESTION YOU ASKED... LOL

he hates sports (all sports)
he's a gamer both online and board games (that's how I met him board gaming)


I know a little about his family... and his job...

he told me to ask ANYTHING... I'm trying to get us engaged in more back and forth... he tends to back off and disappear on me...

ummm...you could try google. Lots of relationship question sites

http://www.examiner.com/interpersona...-relationships

for example..here are the base questions she came up with. Some interesting ones in there actually

Quote:

What's your favorite hiking path in Portland?
If you could make one law that everyone had to follow, what would it be?
What is your favorite memory from high school?
What's your worst memory from grade school?
If you could go anywhere in the world for a month, allexpenses paid, where would you go? (Take note, and perhaps you can tailor your next trip to include some of those elements in it.)
What's your idea of the worst job you can ever imagine?
What's your favorite comfort food? (Take note, then when they have a bad day, you can make/get it for them, and they will feel really good that you remembered and care about them.)
What's worse for you, getting too little sleep or not being able to work out?
What do you think your life would be like if you were famous?
Who are your favorite authors?
What's your definition of hell?
If you were going to get a pet, what would you get, where would you get it and what would you name it? (Okay, that is three questions; beware not to make your questions too long or too involved.)
What's your idea of the perfect day?
Would you ever run for elected office?
Who's your favorite local band?
If you couldn't live in the Portland area, where would you live?
What's the craziest living situation you've ever experienced?
If you were given $1000, what would you do with it?
If you were given $100,000,000, what would you do with it?
Who do you admire the most?
Hope this doesn't end up being a one sided conversation specialist. Those are some very difficult people to talk to :)

whatamIdoing 11-29-2010 07:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ariakas (Post 54344)
ummm...you could try google. Lots of relationship question sites

http://www.examiner.com/interpersona...-relationships

for example..here are the base questions she came up with. Some interesting ones in there actually



Hope this doesn't end up being a one sided conversation specialist. Those are some very difficult people to talk to :)


I will check the site thanks.
I have more day time on my hands than he does... and sometimes we get into some very deep convos... he's very open.

He's viewing this as NSA sex or that was what I thought... that was the intent... but I need SOME connection to a person before i bed them...

this getting to know you dance is hard enough with someone local and willing to be open... doing it long distance with a guarded person is difficult.

In addition, we have never discussed POLY... all he knows at this point is I have "permission" from my hubby to engage in a "relationship" with him...

NeonKaos 11-29-2010 09:16 PM

Here is a question to ask yourself:


If you can't think of anything to say to each other, why do you think you want to be in a "relationship" together?



Am I the only one wondering about this? :confused:

whatamIdoing 11-29-2010 09:18 PM

oh I can think of PLENTY of things to say to him.... just trying to capture his attention... he's heavily scheduled and when he's interested he responds better...

Ariakas 11-29-2010 09:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NeonKaos (Post 54355)
Here is a question to ask yourself:


If you can't think of anything to say to each other, why do you think you want to be in a "relationship" together?



Am I the only one wondering about this? :confused:

Nope, I thought of it too...was kind of trying to help.

Conversation between potential lovers should never feel like work.

whatamIdoing 11-29-2010 09:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ariakas (Post 54357)
Nope, I thought of it too...was kind of trying to help.

Conversation between potential lovers should never feel like work.


deep sigh.

I do not explain myself well.


never mind.

whatamIdoing 11-30-2010 12:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NeonKaos (Post 54355)
Here is a question to ask yourself:


If you can't think of anything to say to each other, why do you think you want to be in a "relationship" together?



Am I the only one wondering about this? :confused:



ya know what you said made me really THINK about this... so last night I CALLED him... and 2 hours later we had to tear ourselves away from the phone...

WE have PLENTY to say to each other... it's TEXT that's an issue for us... and sadly we have to be limited to text most of the time due to time constraints...

but since I'm not sure he's ever going to be a LOVE of mine I'm still not sure I belong here....


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