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-   -   Feeling crazy nervous... (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=4341)

OneUncagedBird 11-27-2010 03:55 AM

Feeling crazy nervous...
Hello everyone. I am currently single, but I was married to a man for 5 years, but after that I was in a relationship with a woman for 3. After much heartache and craziness from both and much self searching I have come to realize several things about myself. I am bisexual, and I want both a man and a woman in my life. I have told this to my friends, jokingly at times. But, since I am a very truthful person, my best friend took me seriously. I talked to her about it one day and she asked me the blunt question, "Why can't you have that? Why can't you have one of each?" To this I had no real answer. I guess that is why I am here on this website. What I want kind of freaks me out a little since all I can think of are those old movies from the 60s and 70s about people living on communes and delving into free love or whatever. And I have this fear that all this talk about openness and communication may not really help and that in the end multiple relationships may be a total distaster. Despite this, from reading various threads, discussing this with my best friend and a very close friend and giving this much thought I feel like I am in the right direction. And, I feel like I can relate to the people on this site and I don't feel so weird about my wants and needs. Alright, there it all is and here I am.:eek:

dragonflysky 11-27-2010 04:15 AM

Welcome! This site seems like a perfect place for you to be! There are many who are bi-sexual and interested in poly relationships.

OneUncagedBird 11-27-2010 03:27 PM

:)Thanks! I appreciate it. And I am feeling even more comfortable now that I have introduced myself and have been reading more threads! Life is crazy, isn't it? I never would have guessed that this is where I would be in a million years.

Ithink 11-27-2010 04:00 PM

As a new member myself it probably isn't my place to say "Welcome" but I can say "Hello". :)
Reading your post and what your friend said about 'Why can't you have both?" reminds me of a conversation my wife and I had a long time ago when we were discussing having an open marriage. I said to her then "Who decided that we can only love ONE person? Who made up this rule? And WHY? Who decided that I am only capable, or able, to love only one person instead of two, three or twenty? Where is the limitation on a human beings capacity to love other people?"
Nice to meet you and hope we get more chances to exchange ideas.

OneUncagedBird 11-29-2010 11:47 PM

too true..
Thank you Ithink. :) I find myself to be so loving and so invested in the people that I care for. I do see the capability in myself to love more than one person at a time. I could definitely handle it. And, you are right, who is to decide? I feel like we all have our own path in this life, and it is up to each of us to find our own way. We cannot judge one another. Plus, I am the one who has to lay down at the end of the day and live with my own conscience. If I am not harming others or causing harm to the environment, what is wrong with loving more than one person?

eklctc 11-30-2010 02:11 AM

Welcome to the forum. You should work on shaking that 'weird' feeling. :) You are beautifully and lovingly unique and you can have all that you desire as long as you are willing to communicate and persevere. :D

I look forward to watching your journey.

polychronopolous 11-30-2010 02:31 AM

^ That.

It is a wonderful thing to be able to accept who you are and what you want from life. To let mainstream society dictate whom, and how, you will love is to sell yourself short and possibly miss out on what could otherwise be an even more exceptional life than you might ever find.

Iktomi 11-30-2010 03:42 PM

hi :) i'm new here too, and that's the same reason i'm interested in poly. i am satisfied with my man but i feel like i need a relationship with a woman too. from what i've seen/read, poly relationships are a lot more complex but they can be very fulfilling. plus there are many couples out there looking for a woman to date so if that's what you're looking for you probably won't have to look far!

River 11-30-2010 09:00 PM


Originally Posted by OneUncagedBird (Post 54014)
.... Alright, there it all is and here I am.:eek:

Glad you found us, Welcome!

Really, it seems so natural to me that we all can (and many do) have multiple simultanious loves. It hardly seems weird at all. .... Yeah, "society" frowns on
non-monogamy these days, but things are changing fast! Anyhow, there are lots of us around.

OneUncagedBird 12-01-2010 02:23 AM

...plus there are many couples out there looking for a woman to date so if that's what you're looking for you probably won't have to look far![/QUOTE]

I know it does seem like that, right? Am I the fabled unicorn? From what I have gathered it is a woman who wants to be with more than one person but also doesn't want kids.... not sure on all the terms though I looked at the dictionary on here. Well, if I am not it doesn't really matter. Lol. But, I don't want kids and wouldn't necessarily have to be a first for someone. I am not at that place yet. I do have to say, the idea of being in a relationship with 2 people who are also together does seem a little intimidating.

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