My name is Phoenix, and Jayne is my wife. We have been lurkers here for awhile, just reading and getting the vibe of this site. We are both 36 y/o and have been together for nine years, married for six. We have an instant family, just add parents and stir, as we both had children from our previous marriages. As in any LTR we have had our ups and downs, but mostly ups. We have always been quite open and honest with each other, almost to a fault some might say, but we can think of no other way to be. We have always tended to be rather open to each other in regards to our sexuality and interests (she is Bi I am Str), but wanted to spend time building our relationship before opening ourselves to anything outside. A few years ago we began to open our relationship to new possibilities. We tried an open relationship, which we found to separate us in different directions. We tried swinging and found that we are not interested in sex with acquaintances, or people just looking for sex. We have no problem with either, but it's just not for us. During this time we developed a greater interest in poly as it seemed to fit our values and desired way of life. It has been a recurring theme in our discussions over the years but, admittedly, we lack any long term experience in the dynamics of a poly relationship(s).
This is why we are here, to learn and grow. We both have demanding careers and our kids (13-16) take a good deal of our time. We are looking to take this time to develop our interests and grow together toward this goal. This isn't something we feel a void for (Not that anyone needs to, make of it what you will) but rather something we feel a warmth and sense of comfort for. I hate introductions because I later think of things I would rephrase and a million more things to add and I will still feel like it is incomplete or unclear. So I shall leave it at this and never read it again. :B
Nice to meet you!
Haha. You crack me up...only because I totally re-read my intro and wanted to rephrase things but then I saw I should enter a reason for the edit and the only thing I could honestly put was that I'm a teensy bit crazy. ;)
It sounds like your road to poly was really similar to ours. We also looked into swinging and came to the same conclusion and while we never tried a separate open relationship - we felt it would have the same outcome. I sometimes think this may change eventually though, that we may feel okay dating different people individually, but we would probably always want to be friends with them even if we weren't dating them too. Bottom line, we just hate keeping things from each other.
Looking forward to reading more about you both!
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