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-   -   Hey all! New triad brewing... (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=4312)

mushaboom 11-25-2010 12:18 AM

Hey all! New triad brewing...
 
I've been reading the forums a bit the last few days and I decided I like it here and I want to stay. :)

Let's see... I'm 28 and I just got married this August. My partner and I are both pretty open minded and have had alternative relationship experiences in the past (before we met). He and I have been talking about opening our relationship hypothetically on and off for about 2 years...but never actively pursued anything. Then a dynamic developed pretty organically after I told my SO that I had a crush on a good friend of mine. They also had a lot of chemistry and three of us spent more and more time together - but once we finally breached the subject she bolted. There were a lot of issues there but thats a story for another time. :( That experience taught us a lot about our relationship and helped to reveal some of our boundaries and that we definitely want to pursue some kind of triad in the future but right now with a primary/secondary kind of bent.

Fast forward to now and we are just on the brink of entering a new friendship with a girl that my SO introduced me to. This time things are going much better. The communication between the three of us is staggeringly easy and everything is already 'out there'. I'm kind of amazed. I guess we learned some about doing things the 'wrong way' the first time around and luckily without much damage. But, I know that I am still a noob and I am here to learn more from those who have tread before me and I can use all the help I can get. :)

Other things about me: I am openly bisexual (although I prefer queer), an artist, a professional webmaster, and I have two adorable pet bunnies. Just another lovely nerdy weirdo! I can't wait to meet everyone.

Cheers.

NeonKaos 11-25-2010 12:27 AM

Welcome to the forum.

It sounds like you're being realistic in your expectations of triad-ism. That is quite refreshing to see. I hope all goes well for you.

polychronopolous 11-25-2010 12:38 AM

Nerdy weirdo... and possible Feist fan? ;)

Welcome! My wife and I relocated to Texas from Alameda Ca. almost three years ago. We miss it there MADLY. :)

Iktomi 11-25-2010 09:48 PM

Hi :)
 
Hi, I'm also new to triads. It's such a good feeling when you are comfortable being open and honest with everyone involved, isn't it? :)

mushaboom 11-26-2010 08:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by polychronopolous (Post 53812)
Nerdy weirdo... and possible Feist fan? ;)

Welcome! My wife and I relocated to Texas from Alameda Ca. almost three years ago. We miss it there MADLY. :)

Hey, polychron. Thanks! Yes, definitely a Fiest fan as well. :) And yes, it is a great area to live in, but SO expensive. We live in the East Bay too! How are you liking TX?

mushaboom 11-26-2010 08:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Iktomi (Post 53888)
Hi, I'm also new to triads. It's such a good feeling when you are comfortable being open and honest with everyone involved, isn't it? :)

It's amazing! So hard to describe, but I guess I don't have to here. :) I don't think I have ever felt more free and open before. I love it. It just feels so right ya know?

polychronopolous 11-29-2010 02:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mushaboom (Post 53963)
Hey, polychron. Thanks! Yes, definitely a Fiest fan as well. :) And yes, it is a great area to live in, but SO expensive. We live in the East Bay too! How are you liking TX?

It was the cost of living and taxes that drove us out here to Texas. Financially it has been great moving out here, but the lifestyle here just isn't the same. We just try to remain thankful for the life we have built.. and travel a lot. LOL! X)

Danny40179 12-03-2010 05:59 PM

TRIADS ROCK!!! Ok, I'm partial, but seriously a triad is flippin awesome!! :D i wish you all kinds of luck and keep doing what you're doing. Communication is key and finding the way that works best for you and your SO is so important. Just because my triad works, doesn't mean it's going to work for YOU. Ya know?

mushaboom 12-03-2010 06:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Danny40179 (Post 54915)
TRIADS ROCK!!! Ok, I'm partial, but seriously a triad is flippin awesome!! :D i wish you all kinds of luck and keep doing what you're doing. Communication is key and finding the way that works best for you and your SO is so important. Just because my triad works, doesn't mean it's going to work for YOU. Ya know?

Aww. Thank you for your message Danny. I've been feeling a little like triads are the "red-headed step-children" of polyamory lately lol. It is really nice to hear from someone who is super positive and encouraging. :)

We are taking it really slow which is helpful for me...its making it easier to address little internal issues as they come up and what not. But, overall it is so exciting and heart-warming when I am not freaking myself out! Silly societal conditioning... ;)

NeonKaos 12-03-2010 07:44 PM

I don't think triads are the "red-headed children" of relationships, but I do think that people sometimes get fixated on triads as the "preferred configuration", especially couples who are opening their relationship for the first time. Instead of taking people as they come, they act as if there is an "ideal third" floating around out there somewhere who will "complete their relationship" and the search is on to "find that person".


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