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-   -   Do matchmakers exist in the world of Polyamory? (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=4273)

al421 11-21-2010 12:59 AM

Do matchmakers exist in the world of Polyamory?
 
I am on the site hoping to learn a bit about the world of polyamory. I'm a married man in a monogamous relationship with a wonderful woman.
Reading the various threads that others have posted on this site, it is clear that there is a real sense of connectedness and mutual understanding between those who live the polyamorous lifestyle. There is an undercurrent of respect that permeates the site that is just really cool.

I can only imagine that the joys, as well as challenges, that are a part of being in a polyamorous union must be multiplied compared to that of a monogamous relationship. Yet, the ingredients to make a successful union I would guess are pretty much the same. Partners who are open, honest, loving, share chemistry and treat each other with respect and kindness.

I work in TV, on the documentary side. My passion is for storytelling and I'm blessed to do it for a living. As a documentary producer, I get the opportunity to explore many interesting worlds and tell the stories of the people that inhabit them.

I am developing a project about the world of polyamory as told through the eyes of an expert/matchmaker that specializes in Polyamorous relationships, and of course, are polyamorous themselves.

I am specifically looking for a central figure for the series, a real world matchmaker, who understands the challenges and the triumphs of helping unions grow larger, as well as stronger. Someone who helps polyamorous unions find their perfect partners.

In your experience, does anyone exist in the real world that provides this kind of service? I would love any insights you all have on this topic. Thank you all for reading my post!

redpepper 11-21-2010 01:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by al421 (Post 53275)
In your experience, does anyone exist in the real world that provides this kind of service? I would love any insights you all have on this topic. Thank you all for reading my post!

No that I know of... sorry, can't help with this one.

Fidelia 11-21-2010 01:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by al421 (Post 53275)
Reading the various threads that others have posted on this site, it is clear that there is a real sense of connectedness and mutual understanding between those who live the polyamorous lifestyle. There is an undercurrent of respect that permeates the site that is just really cool.

Yeah, we rock. ;):cool:

Quote:

Originally Posted by al421 (Post 53275)
I am specifically looking for a central figure for the series, a real world matchmaker, who understands the challenges and the triumphs of helping unions grow larger, as well as stronger. Someone who helps polyamorous unions find their perfect partners.

In your experience, does anyone exist in the real world that provides this kind of service?

Nope. Can't help you there. But s/he would make a fortune, judging by the numbers of polypeeps posting here looking for info on how to meet people.

Good luck in your search.

vodkafan 11-21-2010 02:25 AM

al, that was a cracking job of trying to find someone to feature in your documentary. ;) You smooth dude. :D

TL4everu2 11-21-2010 01:31 PM

Not that I know of. However, my wife and I want to start a poly only dating site. Its a need, that we could possibly help to fill.

River 11-26-2010 06:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by al421 (Post 53275)
.... I work in TV, on the documentary side. ....

I am developing a project about the world of polyamory as told through the eyes of an expert/matchmaker that specializes in Polyamorous relationships, and of course, are polyamorous themselves.

I am specifically looking for a central figure for the series, a real world matchmaker, who understands the challenges and the triumphs of helping unions grow larger, as well as stronger. Someone who helps polyamorous unions find their perfect partners.

al421,

As one with trememdous respect for non-fiction and documetary film / television, and as a poly person, I think this project concept should be reconsidered. So little doc work on polyamory has been done that the film project you describe would (in my opinion) contribute to a distorted public perception of "the world of polyamory". Why? Because the overwhelming majority of poly people simply do not meet by way of matchmakers or "central figures". Instead, like monogamous people, most poly folk meet and grow their relationships within a centerless web of relations, or community.

Please, please, do make a film or tv doc on polyamory. It would be a public service. But please let the subject matter teach you how to frame the story, rather than coming in heavy-handed and framing it before hand. Treat this framing with humility and sensitivity and your work will undoubtably shimmer with tenderness and truth.

FlameKat 11-26-2010 07:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by River (Post 53950)
al421,

As one with trememdous respect for non-fiction and documetary film / television, and as a poly person, I think this project concept should be reconsidered. So little doc work on polyamory has been done that the film project you describe would (in my opinion) contribute to a distorted public perception of "the world of polyamory". Why? Because the overwhelming majority of poly people simply do not meet by way of matchmakers or "central figures". Instead, like monogamous people, most poly folk meet and grow their relationships within a centerless web of relations, or community.

Please, please, do make a film or tv doc on polyamory. It would be a public service. But please let the subject matter teach you how to frame the story, rather than coming in heavy-handed and framing it before hand. Treat this framing with humility and sensitivity and your work will undoubtably shimmer with tenderness and truth.

100% agreed... definitely there is plenty of material out there now for many other relationship and life styles... real and honest filmwork on the poly world from a polyfriendly perspective (as opposed to a sensationalise this and make a quick million perspective) would help communities everywhere...

Athena 11-26-2010 10:35 PM

I suspect whether or not a formal matchmaker exists would depend on the culture and community you end up studying and meeting. A traditional tribal culture that exists both here and in their original third world country may well have some kind of traditional match maker as part of their culture. If you are more into exploring the more free form world of individualists who have just realized that traditional Roman style from millenia past monogamy isn't their thing- I couldn't begin to tell you. Maybe we should have a matchmaker - but to successfully do so, you really have to be part of a web of interacting communities or you won't know anyone well enough to have that sense of who will make a good family together and who will not. Your best bet, instead of trying to find a matchmaker, is to find a few people from different poly communities who are willing to let you into their lives, and let them tell their stories.

Penny 11-28-2010 01:28 PM

al421 seems to be putting the cart before the horse here, making up the documentary before actually finding out what things are really like.

A poly-friendly documentary would be great, but it should reflect the real world and tell a real story.


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