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-   -   Successful Quads? (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=427)

Lemondrop 06-27-2009 09:20 PM

Successful Quads?
 
Is there anyone from a successful quad who wants to share a blog or tips for what works for them? I'd be sincerely grateful. My poor partner has been searching the internet and only finding blogs of quads who broke up. It's hard on her, and me too. I'd like to see some happiness.

Quath 06-28-2009 04:47 AM

I don't know much about quads. I did look up some stuff for triads. The general lore is that they tend to be less stable than vees. I think it has something to do with people changing in relationships. Vees are more flexible than triads. So I think a successful triad is one in which people try to maintain flexibility in their relationship. Let the love and relationship grow stronger or weaker as it is needed.

So my guess is that a quad may be similar. I think if the people can be flexible, it has a greater chance of success.

Liama 07-02-2009 03:36 PM

Semi-successful Quad
 
We've been at it for about 2 years now. It's been a lot of work. Not sure we are a great example...most of us have rather severe mental health issues that would destabilize any relationship, but we are still managing things. I often chat with another quad who has been together about 5 years, they are much more stable.

my blog is private, but if you add me to your myspace page you can view it:

http://www.myspace.com/lovequad

River 08-26-2009 03:17 PM

Jet,

I see here that you're showing signs of interest in the topic of polyamory, unlike some of the spammers mentioned here: http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showp...30&postcount=3

Welcome to the forum. Please change your "signature" so that it does not advertise commercial web sites.

We are in the process of changing Site Guidelines in order to make explicit which kinds of links are not to be allowed, as it appears that the Guidelines only mention which kinds of site links are allowed.

It is necessary to disallow commercial site links unrelated to polyamory because otherwise our forum would be peppered with "stealth spam" posts, which are not true participation in the forum but only really a form of commercial advertising.

During my tenure here as a moderator of this forum, I've had to zap hundreds and hundreds of spam posts. These disrupt the forum and litter it with virtual trash. I held back in your case because you may simply not be aware of the problem -- and also because our Site Guildelines are inadequate to deal with "stealth spam".

Welcome aboard!

XYZ123 08-26-2009 06:05 PM

JR-Look again, he only copy pasted what Quath wrote.

River 08-26-2009 09:12 PM

ZYZ...,

Indeed he did! I missed that. Somehow.

This spammer will be immediately banned and his posts erased.

Thanks for the heads up!

ourquad 09-23-2009 02:28 AM

I will not say that we are a good model but...if you'd like to my blog go to www.lovingmorethanone.wordpress.com.

I have a tendancy to write the trying times more that the good ones. Just like people post on a forum. Go figure.

Vol

Lemondrop 09-29-2009 04:24 PM

Thank you! I find myself in extra need of some insight at this time.

greenearthal 09-29-2009 04:39 PM

Even if a thing has never existed in the past, does not mean it can not exist or does not need to exist.

Even if there were a thousand examples of failed quads and were still waiting for the first successful one, it would still be worthwhile to strive to be that first successful one.

That said, there are lots of examples of long term stable partnering of larger groups. Best of luck in finding more of them to exchange anecdotes and advice with.

Lemondrop 09-30-2009 02:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by greenearthal (Post 7907)
Even if a thing has never existed in the past, does not mean it can not exist or does not need to exist.

Even if there were a thousand examples of failed quads and were still waiting for the first successful one, it would still be worthwhile to strive to be that first successful one.

I completely agree. But I do know that when I'm struggling it can be nice to see that SOMEONE somewhere has succeeded, and it's especially helpful sometimes to see what they did right and what they did wrong.

I don't know, perhaps it increases a sense of fatalism if I know that no one has ever succeeded? (Which is just an example--I've found at least a couple of quads that have lasted a few years) That's an interesting point.


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