||06-27-2009 07:20 PM
new to the life i always wanted
When i was younger I often found myself wanting both a boyfriend and a girlfriend after discovering that i had feelings for both and could sustain these feelings at the same time. I did not know what polyamory was or had even heard anything about it. For a while i ignored my feelings and resigned to the life of monogamy. Almost two years ago I got married to a wonderful man and while he is my everything I still felt like i wanted more, that i needed more. I then discovered that rather then have a seperate relationship with both a man and woman that i much rather enjoy sharing the love i have for someone else with my husband. He not being a typical male is very skeptical of the whole thing. He use to say that if I could love someone else i must not love him. After a year of convincing and a threesome with my best friend, he has started to soften up. We recentlky shared an online girlfriend in which I believe he has realized that he too could care deeply for more then one person. He is now playing with the idea of having a polyamorous marriage in a traid form but I don't think he is convinced. But I guess all I can do is take it slow and talk to him about it. I'm just scared that he will come to a point where he does not want it and to where I am stuck. I will never leave him and if he makes the choice to be monoagmous i will follow despite my feelings towards being polyamorous. I just hope he can come to understand things that way I do, but at the same time i'm scared to even push the subject.