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-   -   What a strange, freaky, scary, and exciting thing (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=4251)

StrangerinKS 11-19-2010 12:00 AM

What a strange, freaky, scary, and exciting thing
My wife and I have been married for 21 years, very happily. Recently, our relationship became polyamorous when I fell in love with another woman. Amazingly, my wife approves of the relationship, as does the other woman's husband (it helps that we have been swingers for five years, although not with this kind of emotional content).

The last three months have been a blur of love. The biggest problem I face is insecurity and envy over the time my lover spends with another lover of hers. Due to work obligations, she can spend a bit more time with him than she can with me, although she insists that her feelings for me are much stronger, and that she would end the other relationship if i asked her to. However, I have no desire to do that to her. What I want is to get a handle on my envy.

What I find so strange about it is that I have never had ANY jealousy or insecurity about my wife in a swinging context, nor even now that she is building more loving friendships with other people.

The whole thing is forcing me to confront issues of security and identity, and I've probably grown more as a person in the last three months than I have in the last 10 years. It really is an amazing thing.

SourGirl 11-19-2010 01:37 AM

Feeling insecurity, anxiety or envy/jealousy over a new relationship, can be a very normal thing....It`s new,..so there is lots to be unsure about.

Where as with your wife,..you have a established history. :)

Welcome to the forum.

eklctc 11-21-2010 04:34 AM

Thank for posting. There is plenty to learn in the experience and, thereby, plenty of room to become more familiar with yourself and grow. I look forward to watching your journey.

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