Life is beautiful!
My husband and I have recently embarked on a polyamorous lifestyle, and it is working out beautifully. There have been a few bumps of jealousy, but we are really good at talking things out and expressing our feelings to each other, and it just keeps getting better and better. The jealousy is really more envy as I have had better luck with finding a compatible partner than he has.
Time management can be a bit tricky. We have a full life, so we've had to work out a rather rigid schedule, but it's working out well.
Well for me at least. The hubby is finding it hard to find someone. He wanted to open the marriage as he was interested in bringing in a third but we are not attracted to the same type. He insisted that I go first because he wouldn't be comfortable going out on his own. I was open to the idea, but my attractions are few and far between, so the notion sat for a long time, occasionally brought up and discussed, but never realized.
Then we made friends with a handsome, clever, good-natured man with a deep sexy voice and fantastic sense of humor. He was immediately accepted into our larger group of friends and is well-liked by everyone, my husband included.
There was definite chemistry between me and our new friend, though I could see that it made him uncomfortable. I am naturally flirty, and the hubby is not the jealous type and it has never bothered him, but our friend obviously enjoyed the attention but felt simultaneously guilty and nervous about it.
Anyhow, my sweetie-husband brought up the open marriage notion to me again, despairing that I would never be interested in anyone enough to pursue them. We have a full life, busy schedules and a beautiful little daughter, and our relationship is so strong, stable, and emotionally satisfying that if I were to go through the trouble of making space in my life for another person, he would have to be spectacular.
Well, this guy fit the bill. My husband knew I was attracted to him, but didn't think that would be enough for me to make the jump to poly. But I told him, yes, let's do this.
The problem was that the man in question was always present as a part of our social group, and discussing it privately would have been difficult.
So, next time our friends all got together, a whole houseful of them at our place, my husband, knowing that I was shy about broaching the subject, announced in front of everyone that we'd decided to open our marriage, on the pretext of asking two of them about a mutual acquaintance he was interested in.
Well, then, the cat was out of the bag. It took me a week or two to work up the nerve to email him. He was quite enthused. He said he'd been trying to figure out how to approach me, which was difficult with us never being alone together. We got together that night, after all our friends went home. We were both nervous and shy, but the chemistry was fantastic.
I've been with my husband for 11 years, married for two and a half. The relationship with my lover started about three and a half months ago.
My husband works nights, so twice a week our daughter stays at her grandma's house (she loves that!) and I have a tryst with my lover. One night I go to his place, the other he spends the night at mine. He started off leaving when my husband got home in the morning, but then he began, at the hubby's invitation, to stay for breakfast...
The menfolk hang out and chat while I cook for them. I get a huge kick out of this.
Staying for breakfast quickly became breakfast in bed... which, in recent weeks, has turned into breakfast in bed followed by two gorgeous men who I adore delighting me with physical affection, cuddles, and ridiculous amounts of sex. I am the luckiest woman on the planet.
It is all very mellow, friendly, and relaxed. I could not feel more spoiled.
I know that my lover will eventually want to find a wife and have himself some kids. Both my lover and husband are considerably younger than I am, and I don't want to have more babies... the first was pretty rough on me physically. I think that nesting relationships are probably better off at least starting off monogamous, though I suppose there are exceptions to that. Still, I am aware that my relationship with my lover is very likely of limited duration.
I intend to enjoy every minute of it while it lasts. All three of us are very good friends, and my life is full of love and affection.
Welcome to the Forum.
That sounds lovely.
Welcome and I look forward to hearing more about your journeys... :)
How wonderful. I look forward to watching your journey. It sounds like a very promising and enjoyable situation and, though we know bumps shall arise, you have the right mindset about it. I would leave my mind open to the possibilities. You never know what your lover will ultimately want. He may choose to be monogamous to you. He may decide that he does want another partner or two but no 'traditional' marriage, etc. Enjoy the journey and I wish you all the best.
Thanks for the replies! I am thinking of starting a thread in the life stories/blog section. I have read through some of the threads there and find the personal accounts so compelling.
My husband had the night off work on my usual night at our place with my lover, so we invited my lover to spend the night with us both. He accepted, and I spent the night sandwiched between the two of them. It was cozy and warm, and the lovemaking was divine. Then we spent the morning lounging about over breakfast, then talking, laughing, making love and taking naps until four in the afternoon... which was much later than we'd planned, but we lost track of time.
I will probably have to repeat much of this when I start the blog thread, but I am too sleepy to start one today. The hubby had to go to work early, so my daughter and I are camping out in the living room tonight on the air mattress watching movies on the projector screen.
Life... still beautiful!
hi, welcome to the forum
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