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-   -   In love and freaking out (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=42084)

Me3 03-06-2013 07:59 PM

In love and freaking out
I am here because I need advice, reassuring and/or support. My husband and I have been together for 10 years. We are very close, tell each other everything, are extremely happy, in love and best friends. We have done the "swinging" thing in the past but never got any joy out of it. About 4 months ago or so I started "fooling" around with a female friend that I have known for a year or so. We all started spending more and more time together, then last week we all realized we were falling in love or have already fallen in love with each other. My husband, our girlfriend and I are the happiest we have been in years.

Long story short....I am scared to death of someone getting hurt. I never thought that I could be in love with a woman and a man at the same time, and that I would be ok with my husband being in love with another woman besides me. I have my moments of jealous and doubt but I am so happy that I am terrified. The really hard part is that she is married, unhappily that is, but her husband has no idea. This entire situation is kinda freaking me out....I can't get her out of my mind and when I see her and my husband together my heart melts. I guess it is possible to love more than one person at a time......

kdt26417 03-07-2013 12:20 AM

Hello Me3,
Welcome to our forum.

You are certainly right that it's possible to love more than one person at a time, and even if it's a little scary in the beginning, it will get easier.

It concerns me of course that this other woman's husband doesn't know what's going on, even if she's not happy with him. You need some kind of exit strategy for that part of the situation. If nothing else, she needs to get a divorce. Or get into marital counseling or something, but this can't be kept a secret from her husband forever. Hopefully it can be resolved sooner rather than later.

You have a good thing going with this triad relationship with this woman, and it is worth hanging onto. If you'll look around at our different threads here you'll see that there's so much to learn, and you can always post your thoughts and questions.

I'm glad you could join us.
Kevin T.

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