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-   -   Theoretically poly (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=4172)

Wayne 11-09-2010 07:14 PM

Theoretically poly
 
Meaning she has someone picked out, they've been acknowledging their feelings for years, and he knows I'm completely in the loop.... but he won't take the next step.

The "next step" involves leaving a loveless, childless marriage and moving halfway across the country, mind you. But it's been a few years and nothing's changed. She can't let him go and move on...she's tried. He's afraid to make such a big move and get more involved with a married woman even with her husband's permission. And I hate to see her missing him, frustrated with him, and crying over him. And I hate seeing him stuck, afraid of his wife and afraid of being alone and afraid of change.

There is nothing I can do about this. So until something changes, we'll try to make the best of it.

River 11-09-2010 07:29 PM

Welcome, Wayne.

It sounds like you're actually supportive, rather then merely permissive. Is that right? Are you hoping these two will make a go of it?

Wayne 11-09-2010 07:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by River (Post 52006)
Welcome, Wayne.

It sounds like you're actually supportive, rather then merely permissive. Is that right? Are you hoping these two will make a go of it?

Yes, actually I am. They've been in contact for a few years. She tried for a year along the way to break it off with him but couldn't get him completely out of her head and her heart. As much as his hesitation has frustrated her, she loves him and longs for him even though she also loves me and is happy to be with me.

I sometimes wonder if someone that unwilling to take action on his own behalf is worthy of her. But she really thinks he is and I'll take her word for it... she's usually has a better sense of what people are all about than I do.

River 11-09-2010 07:42 PM

Well, this being the Introductions thread, I'll wait until you become involved elsewhere in the forum before peppering you with more questions or comments. Again, Welcome.

Wayne 11-09-2010 07:42 PM

She dated him for a while in high school, but never (even to this day) progressed to a physical relationship. She had a kind of "background" missing him all along but never really acknowledged it thinking that it wasn't meant to be... then when she found him a few years ago she found out that her family members intercepted letters between them and caused each to think the other had broken contact without warning or explanation!

Needless to say, this cast the end of their relationship in a whole new light.

River 11-09-2010 08:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wayne (Post 52013)
... she found out that her family members intercepted letters between them and caused each to think the other had broken contact without warning or explanation!

Needless to say, this cast the end of their relationship in a whole new light.

I'll bet! What a crappy thing those family members did!

(Again, I'll wait for a new thread outside of Introductions before further comments or questions.)

Wayne 11-09-2010 08:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by River (Post 52016)
(Again, I'll wait for a new thread outside of Introductions before further comments or questions.)

Here it is.

River 11-09-2010 08:17 PM

Good. Thanks.


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